14   DXM Experiences and Personal Reports

This section covers various people's reports about their DXM use. All are given anonymously, sometimes with a pseudonym. Because I have literally hundreds of pages of data, I have chosen to present what I believe to be a representative sample. I fully admit there may be bias here, although I have tried to keep it to a minimum.

Note that I had a bit of a problem deciding how to sort this section. On the one hand, I wanted to sort by mg/kg; on the other hand, only about 20% of my reports list the subject's weight. So I settled on dosage, with mg/kg listed as well. If you see your experience listed here and I don't have your weight, feel free to tell me - just identify which one is yours, since I no longer have any original names or addresses.

Also, I divided the single experiences into first/second and third/fourth plateau trips based on certain elements which were present (or absent) in the descriptions. Sometimes this led to higher dosages in the first section than in the second, and sometimes the decision was difficult.

W. A. (male, age 19, 110kg), 75mg (0.68mg/kg) + pseudoephedrine

The entire bottle of children's DM, containing a total of 75mg of DXM, as well as pseudoephedrine (don't remember the amount), was drank over the course of about 45 minutes. The initial effect was a lightheaded, disassociated feeling. Thought patterns remained completely lucid and clear as ever. Very unusual perception of motion was also noticeable; it felt as if I was "gliding" around the room, rather than walking. Falling onto the floor into a pile of cushions was very very entertaining. No visual, or audio hallucinations or distortions were noticed. The effects set in around 1 hour after starting to drink the preparation (15 minutes after finishing the bottle). The effects were mainly emotional and physical, as previously stated. I'd heard that musical perception was altered, and I did notice that when listening to music, I really "got into it" (as with pot, but different), and I couldn't get the beat out of my head after turning it off. A friend, who is much smaller than I (5'11, 130lbs perhaps) experienced similar intensity and effects, even though he had taken the same dose as I did.

A slightly increased heart rate was also noted, as was a slight crawling skin feeling, but these were probably because of the pseudoephedrine.

Near the end of the experience, I got a horrid bloated gassy stomach ache, and spent the remainder of the 'trip' dealing with severe diarrhea. It wasn't pleasant. The friend who also did it, didn't experience these effects so it must have just been that my system can't handle the crap that makes up cough syrup (flavors, sugars, perhaps the pseudoephedrine). Or maybe I react badly to the DM itself. The entire experience lasted perhaps 6 hr.

Overall, somewhat pleasant and interesting, but nothing terribly spectacular or insightful. Planned on taking a higher dose the next time, to try for some actual hallucinogenic or psychedelic effects. It did almost feel as if I was nearing a threshold of some sort, sort of similar to a very low dose of LSD.

Got ahold of 2 4-oz bottles of "Father John's Medicine"-10mg DXM per 5ml "dose" = 236mg per bottle. It took me nearly 10 minutes to down the first bottle-it was a thick black sludge that was supposed to be licorice but smelled (&tasted) much like FlyNap (that stuff at school that we use to temporarily knock out fruit-flies). Needless to say, I was already feeling nauseous and decided against trying to consume the second bottle. By about 45 minutes after consuming the liquid, I began to notice some unusual effects... the radio (I was listening to a talk show) began making weird almost flange-like effects... I stuttered somewhat when I tried to speak (I do not normally have this problem).

About an hour into this, I switched the radio over to an REM CD. The music was more beautiful than I have ever heard it before-each note was intense and vibrant. I stood up and discovered a floating, somewhat euphoric feeling with a little cloudiness of thought. These effects seem to be virtually identical to that of Vicodin (sp.?), a narcotic painkiller I had had prescribed for me following outpatient ear surgery last spring.

The nausea became extremely intense over the next several minutes, and I finally began vomiting violently into my trash can-however, almost IMMEDIATELY afterwards, I felt much, much better. My head felt big and swollen (not at all unpleasant, however) and the euphoria felt when walking around was exponentially more intense. Coordination seemed to be impaired-I tried playing "Tetris" on my computer only to find it impossible to think and act properly. I definitely would not want to drive in this condition.

After about four and a half hours, I began to come down gradually. No "crash" at all-I didn't even fall asleep (as I do with almost every other substance I've tried). By about six and a half hours, I was feeling no effects whatsoever and was able to continue with the rest of my day.

In short, I would try DXM again (just not in that vile toxic waste form). I'd recommend taking an meclizine antiemetic (e.g. Bonine or Dramamine II)-NOT, however, a dimenhydrinate one (e.g. Dramamine) as this causes drowsiness-to control the nausea.

I felt confident and tried a low dose (250mg). I loved it! Everything I read about it came true; music sounded "live", slight euphoria, etc. I did 250mg a few times before moving on to larger doses. Before long I had turned a few friends on to DXM.

[I kept the original spelling and typing just to illustrate that DXM doesn't always improve one's typing skills.]

sorry abouyt not quoting, but i can't be bopthered. well, i'm currently on the tail enbd of a 250 mg dose of dxm, and fuck i feel *GOOD*. i can't imagine it being possible to have a bad trip on this shit.

oh, man, i feel so good.

well, if i can get this posted withougth screwing up roayally i will ta leastr remewmber it when i read this, and probably regret it...it's neat... ity's like being in a rpoom, with no lightsa except a whole bunch of tv's, and each tv is a different sensory input, and i have a few outputs toom but i can only play with ione atta time. so i cant think vetry well. oh, plese flame me, i am too happy to care. having tried this, i would definately reccomend it.

i walked through the woods for 2 hours with a freibnd who aslo tried dxm for the first time... we had such fun, oh damn i can't see the keyboard anymore am i typing still? oh, i can see the screen so i am. i am going away. TRY DXM, IT'S FUN.

Hello all. 2 hours and 8 minutes ago I ingested 300 mg of DXM, my first trip on anything. I've never done acid or anything like that. This is the most incredible thing I've ever experienced. Based on what I've read, I think I must be peaking right now. This is simply incredible. I can't even explain what's happening to me. I can't stay focused on anything, my mind is racing, and I feel totally relaxed. I can feel my body swaying back and forth to the music ( which DOES sound absolutely incredible on DXM ).

Okay now its 1:19 PM.... 3 hours and 25 minutes since I took 300mg of DXM. I have felt a little sick occasionally, and have itched tremendously on certain areas of my body for the past hour or so. There is a huge red rash on my chest that itches incredibly, almost like a sunburn. I have no idea what it is. I watched some television and that experience was very weird. I didn't like it at all. The only thing on TV was "The Golden Girls" which I find funny sober... It seemed very dumb and boring to me on this DXM. Please realize that the DXM is still obviously going strong in my body and my message may reflect it to some extent. However, since some people have expressed interest in reading other people's experiences (and I love to read other people's experiences myself ), I will now try to describe exactly what is going on, so long as I can remain cognitive. Instead of trying to remember what it was like and post it later, I will try to post it as it happens. I'll devote the next 45 minutes to writing this message...

Both of my eyes feel very puffy, like I get when I'm around cats. My head spins occasionally, and the world around me seems to jitter every time I move my head. While laying down on my bed listening to music, everything was fine. In fact, I find that I am almost perfectly normal (feeling, not thinking ) when I'm laying down. As soon as I get up and walk around, things get crazy. The more I move my head or change my sense of balance, the stranger things get. Neither of my eyes will focus on the same object. I have lost almost all of my 3-dimensional perception. My right eye stares straight ahead and so does my left. They no longer converge on an object to present my brain with a 3d image. Everything is flat. This is only when I let them go, however. I can control my vision. Perhaps with greater dosages I will not have this luxury <G>

Keep in mind, please, that this is my first trip-at only 300mg. For $4.25 I got 300mg of pure DXM and I'd just like to tell you that it has been nothing short of incredible. I read articles about people smoking pot about 2 hours after taking DXM to get both drugs to peak at the same time... I didn't mix anything with DXM (yet ).

Now its 1:24 PM and I have no idea how long this is gonna last. I think I peaked about 2.5 hours into the experience, that would be maybe an hour and a half ago. The peak was simply unexplainable. By far one of the most incredible experiences of my life. There was, however, nothing 'profound' about it. I didn't get any feelings of superiority or godlikeness, or anything like that. Perhaps it was the low dosage. I'm going to go pick up 750 mg's when I can finally drive <G> and take that sometime later this week. Having never experimented with many drugs (I haven't done all that many drugs like some of you veterans <G> ) I must say that DXM is probably the strangest, most interesting thing I've done in my life. There's just no easy way to explain it. On this low dosage, I didn't get any "pink elephants." However, with my home stereo playing loudly, the bass shook my head (which was laying on a pillow which would obviously absorb the bass) and made the entire room shake. As I said, the bass could not have physically made my head move as I was on a pillow. It was more likely an affect of the drug/my eyes/the music. Music does certainly sound incredible with DXM.

Its 1:37 now. I've been listening to the Natural Born Killers soundtrack, Tori Amos' Under the Pink and Little Earthquakes, and "Chill Out," a ambient 2-disc set. I have also listened to all of Yanni's CD's in the past few hours. The music is simply incredible. I paged a friend of mine and she called me back. I told her about what I had done (this was about an hour ago when the peak was beginning to end) and we talked for a while. Quite an interesting conversation. She and her friend are going to try DXM with me next time I do it. I'm going to take probably 600 mg or so and they will get 300mg each. We'll see how it all turns out. Well now its 1:43 and it seems like I've been sitting here for hours. Time looses its meaning with DXM. Even in this low dosage, I guess. I could have been sitting here for a day and would never have known it.

Anyway, my brother and his friends are over here. They don't know what I've done. I find that when I smoke pot I tend to be more withdrawn and afraid of people. They just walked into my room just now and I was not at all alarmed. Personal interaction is very easy yet somehow complex. I have not experienced the "dizzy" feelings everyone always talks about. Perhaps, again, it is the low dosage.

I have heard that, after taking large dosages of DXM, people have experienced gas for the next few days. My entire body feels very warm and flush, but my pelvic area seems particularly warm. I have not "messed myself" or anything of the like, but I can hear my stomach growling constantly. My intestines must be doing something. Perhaps I should have taken the DXM with orange juice or something similar to help with the pH differences...

1:51 now. I'm wondering how long this stupid thing will end up being. My apologies in advance if I begin to ramble on and on. A while ago I made some cappuccino. I dipped my finger in the boiling water and felt NOTHING. I only kept it in for a few seconds because I cognitively knew that, even though I couldn't feel it, my skin was indeed burning. DXM certainly alters your perception and consciousness. I've read articles about people staring at trees, talking to dogs, thinking they were things other than human, etc. on DXM. This whole time I have not forgotten than I am sitting here in my room, listening to my CD player, etc. I never had any thoughts of being something other than human or seen any wild hallucinations. The dosage is again probably to blame.

1:55 now, I'll write until 2:00. To wrap up, I guess I'll talk about how I felt when I first took it. I was not really nervous or concerned. I have spent 3 months researching DXM. I always research something before I try it. When I finally took all the pills, I grew impatient quickly. I had eaten about 45 minutes before, so I think that had something to do with how long it took to take affect. About 1 hour 20 minutes after I took the pills I began to definitely feel something. If there is anyone out there thinking of trying DXM, I suggest this: research it until _you_ feel you know enough about it. Talk to people who have done it. Read the FAQs, etc. If some guy came up to me on the street and said "There are 10 DXM tabs here. Take them." I would have totally freaked out. I personally need to know _everything_ about what I'm considering trying before I try it. Better safe than sorry, I guess.

Well its 2:00 now and I apologize for the length of this thing. I hope you all find at least something here useful or entertaining, as I don't want to waste bandwidth.

OK, I'll do that thing. Lately I've become a big fan of low-dosage (300 mg, I weigh 160 lb., and have a very low threshold for every drug I've ever tried) DXM trips. I guess "trip" isn't quite the right word...at that dosage, it's more like a buzz, admittedly a buzz with interesting cognitive effects.

Here is a log from a recent 300 mg experience:

3:30 - 4:00 PM - Took 10 Drixoral cough caps while reading alt.drugs. I used the timer on my watch to give me a beep every 3 minutes. At each beep, I took a cap, with water. This was about two hours after a light lunch (a 6" veggie & cheese sub from Subway).

4:45 - Began to feel a bit dizzy. Noticed a tendency to smile at nothing.

5:15 - Definitely feeling a buzz. I played a computer game for 15 minutes. When I stood up, I practically launched myself out of my chair! My limbs felt very light. I felt like I could jump up and hit my head on the ceiling (though I didn't...I was also feeling very relaxed.)

6:00 - Had dinner. Ate *very* slowly, and about half the usual amount. Talked to my wife at great length about exponential growth (I think she was laughing at me).

During this whole period (5:30 till I went to bed), I felt my thoughts frequently "spinning off." Like I would be thinking about one thing, and it would lead to a complicated spin-off, that in turn would lead to another spin-off etc. I had a vision involving mathematical processes. Hmmm, how to explain? Consider a convergent infinite sum (like 1/i^2, for I running from 1 to infinity). The sum tells you to add a term, add another term, add another and another and another, forever. But instead, you can just "do the sum" and get the answer (2, in this case). By this act of abstraction, you short circuit the process of infinitely adding terms. So I imagined doing the same with the act of abstraction itself. This leads to an infinite series of abstractions of abstractions. So do the same to that one! And so forth... I guess you had to be there...

7:00 - 8:00 - While my wife put the kids to bed, I lay down on the floor with the headphones, listening to Counting Crows, Dire Straits, Koyaanisqatsi, and Brandenburg concertos. Really got into it. As has frequently been noted on alt.drugs, music is greatly enhanced by DXM.

8:00 - 9:00 - Played a 2-player computer game with my wife (Oxyd). We had a great time!

9:00 - Smoked a bowl. At first it seemed to cloud up my thoughts, but later I felt even better than before. Watched some TV, but couldn't handle the raw stupidity.

9:30 - Took a hot shower. Felt great. Afterwards, very relaxed. Talked with my wife for about an hour, then just lay down on the couch with my eyes closed.

12:00 - Went to bed, slept great.

That was it. Never felt any nausea. The next day I felt fine, the effects were completely gone.

10:03 Both: Took 300mg(10 capsules) each of Drixoral Cough Liquid Caps... might have been a bit much for a first time try, but we were feeling daring...(and we wanted it to be good) :)...

10:47 Both: Think we're starting to get a general 'nice' feeling

10:57 J.: Colors seem to be getting brighter. Listening to Nirvana's Bleach album, music seems kind of 'thin' but it's pretty easy to get into.

11:16 J.: Colors really brightening.

11:22 J.: Getting into it... K. doesn't seem to be having much fun yet..

11:53 Both: Went outside to have a smoke and walk around.

12:07 Both: came back in, J.: Things seemed to really be setting in. I first noticed it when I walked back up the stairs to come back into the house. I felt very bouncy, as if I were going to keep floating up... I also felt it when I stood up from a chair. Around this time I also started to notice things bouncing around a bit when I tried to fix my eyes on them.

12:20 I'm definitely getting weird, K. still isn't getting anything...

12:26 Turned off the lights and the monitor, stopped writing this log as things happened. Listened to music in the dark and had a pretty good time singing along. Now I popped in Nirvana's Nevermind. It was more melodic and cooler to listen to. I thought the more psychedelic parts of the music would be more stimulating, but it was really basic song structure and melody that got me going... Time started to get distorted. Couldn't keep my eyes from wandering.

1:00(or so) J.: Time getting really distorted. Songs seem to last for hours, still nothing really for K.. We just lied around and listened...

Things really hit around 1:30... All I can say is that I was FUCKED *UP*!!! My memory from then on is really screwed up, but I remember realizing just how fried I was when I found myself sitting up on the bed with my legs shaking, and asking K. if they were shaking. He told me to stop shaking them (By now he seemed pretty fried too) and when I stopped (it was fairly hard, I couldn't quite remember 'how' to). It felt weird stopping, so I just let them shake (They stopped when I laid back down). Standing up was hard and so was talking (although that didn't stop me). Just laying down, talking and listening was actually quite enjoyable.

Things I noticed: These things are DANGEROUS! I almost choked trying to swallow one of the pills :) (Really though, Make sure you have something to wash them down with). We were VERY heavily stoned. I remember K. remarking 'This is what retarded people must feel like' :). I just couldn't think straight at all...

I seemed to instantly verbalize most of my thoughts. According to K., I talked almost the whole time about absolutely nothing... I wonder if I would have talked so much if there weren't anyone there with me...I found myself contradicting myself often. "I want to try and go outside. No I don't." I also said completely senseless things. He would ask me a question like "Do you want to try and stand up?" and I'd say something like "No, because you'll try to kill me, and the windows can't handle that." Weird...

Part of our talking was telling each other all of our deepest darkest secrets. I can only remember a few of the milder ones, but I know I told him things about myself I wouldn't tell ANYONE normally... Luckily our memories of the experience are very bad, and many of the things we told each other were absolute hogwash (I distinctly remember "Hey man, I gotta tell you something. I have sex with furniture" "That's OK man, I have sex with guitars..."). The next day however, we both felt like a tremendous weight had been taken off of our chest, and I think we're much better friends.

I didn't seem to hallucinate as I thought I would. In fact, I really couldn't imagine anything visual at all. When I closed my eyes, I just saw kind of a slightly more intense normal-closed-eye pattern, and I just felt a general 'swirling' feeling in my mind. K., however, reported seeing Sonic the Hedgehog come running at him a few times. :)

I noticed my body seemed generally numbed, and severely in my mouth and face. The numbing of my mouth added to the difficulty of talking, and I think I had cottonmouth, but it might have just been the numbness.

At one point, for some reason I told K. to make sure all of his fingers were still on because DXM can me bad for them. He started nervously tugging on them to see if they were loose. I really freaked him out :-).

Moving around and dancing was REALLY cool. I was very disoriented and had a bit of a hard time standing up, but I didn't get motion sick or anything, and moving felt great. Looking back, I'm glad nobody sober was watching me dance, I pretty much made a fool of myself :)...

For part of the most intense part of the trip I seemed to be just 'Out of my head', Like the rest of my mind just wandered off and left me to just kinda lay there and stare at things. I also had a few 'waking up' experiences. It's hard to explain, but it was if I were dreaming, and then woke up to find things exactly as they were in the dream.

I only got nauseous twice for short periods, and it was very mild.

Sometime around 4:00, Both of us decided to go so sleep (I wasn't really tired, it was a decision we just kinda made) No weird dreams or anything... The next day, I didn't feel down after the trip, probably because I was still feeling the effects quite a bit. My memory wasn't doing too good, I felt mildly stoned, and I still got that funny feeling whenever I got up.

Tonight I took 300mg of DXM after getting drunk and I really liked it. I am sick and probably have the worst situation for having a "bad trip", if I had dropped acid I definitely would have lost it and felt like shit all night. But I got drunk and took 10 Drixoral cough caps and I really enjoyed the whole thing, sickness and all. At first I was nauseous and threw up a couple of times but it was very painless and left me with a feeling of relief that was very pleasurable. Then I laid down and listened to music for awhile as it kicked in and the only way to describe it was as a religious experience. It was *awesome*. For the next few hours I was restless and I walked around for awhile and just walking around was fun. Feeling no pain, pretty much feeling *nothing* was just the effect I was looking for. I had to take a shit a couple of times with the flu I have but it was not really unpleasant even though I'm sick (get it?).

Now I'm starting to come down I guess, and I would have to say that DXM is good for those who are looking for a kind of narcotic type high but with some of the weird effects of the hallucinogenic type drugs. I think its especially good for those who want to get more than pot has to offer but for whom acid makes them anxious. At least for me DXM doesn't have that "on edge" feeling that acid and shrooms have. Anyway, I'm hungry and I've gotta get something in my stomach. Later.

Although generally positive, this user had an exceptionally long (3 day) hangover which was definitely not an expected or pleasant experience.

Recently I decided to experiment with DXM as a recreational drug. Although the initial experience was not negative, I am now becoming a bit frightened. You see, it has been more than 54 hours since I took the DXM, and yet I am still feeling the effects. I'll get into the details of how I feel right now at the end of this article, let me tell you that I am still feeling slightly light-headed and numb.

Before I relate to you my story, however, let me tell you a bit about myself. I am 16 years old, white, male, and I weigh about 80 kg (180 lb.). I'm a good student, a junior in high school with a GPA of 3.8 and in many honors/AP classes. I have experimented with marijuana and LSD in the past. I'm not currently on any sort of medication.

And now my story: (all names are changed to protect the guilty.)

Wednesday, March 29th

3:00 PM: School gets out. After reading about dextromethorphan in the DXM FAQ and some positive stories from someone I met up in the city, I decided to go out to Long's drugs and buy some Drixoral gelcaps. I told my friend (who will now be known as Andy) about DXM, and he was interested, too. I drove Andy and myself over to Longs, where we split the cost of a 20 pack of Drixoral Cough. We then drove back to Andy's house. Andy actually lives with a foster family. Back at the house, Andy's foster brother Sam was home with a female friend named Pam. We told Sam about the Drixoral, but he scoffed at us for "stooping" to the level of cough syrup. This from a guy who used to get high from Vick's inhalers.

4:30 PM: Since nothing important is happening at school the next day, we decide to each take 5 caplets. That's 150 mg DXM, or 1.875 mg/kg. Andy weighs less than I do. Regardless, we figured this to be a rather tame dosage to take, so we swallowed the caplets with water and went outside with Sam and Pam. We talked, listened to music, etc.

5:15 PM: We don't feel any affects. We get the idea that this isn't going to work at all (we had a failed Morning Glory experience 5 days earlier) so we each take 5 more gelcaps, finishing off the box. We have now taken a total of 300 mg DXM, which for me is 3.75 mg/kg. Discouraged, we recall that pot is supposed to help enhance the effects of DXM. We get out our bong, and scrape out the resin so we can smoke it. Sam has some shake left in the bottom of a suede leather bag, so we put it along with the scraped off resin in cigarette paper and stick the whole wad in the bowl.

5:45 PM: All four of us smoke out, getting quite pleasantly stoned. Andy and I have given up on the DXM, although we did notice that neither of us coughed at all when we smoked, unlike Sam and Pam. It truly is a good cough suppressant.

7:00 PM: We've been eating and watching TV for a bit, but nothing is on. We get up. Andy and I look at each other. We don't feel stoned. We feel something more. We go upstairs to Sam's room and listen to some music. Andy and I feel good. Really good. Sam and Pam go out to have a walk. My memory of the evening begins to get fuzzy

7:30 PM: I call my house and leave a message on the machine that I won't be coming home at 8, but that I'll be home at 10.

8:00 PM: Music feels really good. I'm seeing hallucinations now. The neat part about them is that I can control them, something I didn't experience on LSD. I've also lost my appetite. I try to force down a cookie, but I can't. I'm very thirsty, however. I drink some water.

8:30 PM: I'm completely delirious by now. I feel insanely good, and I'm getting a definite visual flanging effect. We both feel feverish. I also feel vasoconstricted in my lips and hands. Music is losing it's euphoric quality, but movement is great. Andy and I go out for a walk in the hills. Depth perception is gone, and I am getting double vision. Focusing on things is difficult.

9:45 PM: We get back to the house, and I need to go home, as Sam's mother has returned home. As usual, I am stuck driving in my VW Bug back home. The drive in uneventful. I don't run any stop signs, I don't see any cops, and I go the speed limit.

10:00 PM: I got home. I am able to talk with my father successfully. I am still very thirsty, so I drink a couple more glasses of water. I brush my teeth and at 10:30 I go to bed.

Thursday, March 30

6:30 AM: I haven't slept a wink. I am still tripping. Over the past 8 hours I have tossed and turned, feeling very good, although a bit anxious. Getting up and walking around every so often has felt nice. I enjoy some more hallucinations. Then I realize that I'm going to have to drive to school still under the effects of DXM. I'm a bit worried now, but guess I'm just experiencing the "hangover."

6:45 AM: I take a shower. Neat experience. Felt weird.

7:00 AM: I go to the kitchen to get breakfast. My parents are up. I attempt to talk with them, but I have trouble forming sentences. I shut up. I make myself half a quesadilla, and force down about half of it. I have no appetite, but I don't want to come down not having eaten anything. I drink some more water.

7:30 AM: I drive to school. Pretty easy, although I still have a hard time focusing on things directly.

8:00 AM: School begins. I'm still light-headed and feeling "good." I want it to stop. I take a math quiz on limits. I feel like I'm taking forever to do it, but I finish in less than 10 minutes (about 10 minutes before everyone else.) My perception of time is still a little strange.

10:00 AM: I confer with Andy. He is no longer feeling any effects. We also come to believe that I felt it more strongly than he did the night before. My eyes still move slightly independently.

3:00 PM: I return home from school. I'm still feeling strange.

3:30 PM: I finally take a nap, the first sleep I've gotten in 33 hours.

5:30 PM: I wake up. I feel much better. My vision is totally normal again. I call Andy up, let him know I'm okay.

6:30 PM: Dinner. I interact with parents again and babble a bit.

9:00 PM: I make brownies. It's a lot of fun. I'm feeling the effects of DXM a little stronger again. I'm getting a little frightened that my trip has gone for over 24 hours, so I call Andy up. We talk. I continue to see slight hallucinations in the dark (breathing walls, shifting shadows.)

10:45 PM: I've been watching TV with my Mom for a while, and now I'm beginning to feel a little stranger. I'm twitching a bit. Having things touch me feels very good.

11:15 PM: In bed. Fatigued, but not sleepy. I end up writing in bed for about two hours. I'm in a state of what I would call ecstasy. The sheets on my skin feel unbelievable good. Certain parts of me feel numb, however, especially around my genitals. Hallucinations have stopped.

Friday, March 31

1:45 AM: This is the last time I remember looking at the clock for a while.

3:30 AM: I wake up for a bit. I've stopped writhing.

7:30 AM: My dad comes in, wakes me up. I'm late, having slept through my alarm clock.

8:00 AM: I just make it to school on time. I'm very jittery. I blame all my remaining symptoms on lack of sleep - I've gotten about 5 hours of sleep in the past 48. I stutter a bit when I speak. My hands shake.

12:00 PM: I get progressively worse as the day goes on. I'm having troubles coping with people. I go home.

2:00 PM: I nap until 5:00. I feel slightly better.

This all leads up to me now. I've been typing this up for about an hour. I started at 11:15 PM. Here's my current situation. I am tired and woozy. I feel numbish all over - not totally number, and I still feel pain (pinching) just fine, but gently touching and squeezing of my body feels strange. I am developing a headache, but I'm loathe to take any medication right now. My hair is still sensitive to touch (scalp hair, arm hair, etc.) but the actual skin underneath isn't. The effect is most pronounced in my scalp skin, forehead, nose, face, arms and genitals. I still have feeling in all these places, it is just a different type of "feel", but it is different. I still feel pain normally, however.

Worst of all, I'm getting sort of used to feeling this way. I begin to forget that I'm not quite all here. Then I'll realize that I don't feel like I normally do.

I apologize if this gets harder to read as my article continues. I'm finding it more and more difficult to type. Also I am having trouble concentrating. I going to go to sleep.

I didn't get a chance to send this off last night. It is now 6:30 PM Saturday, and I'm feeling better. I'm still lightheaded and slightly numb, however.

Wow, a 72 hour "trip." I wasn't expecting this.

[Note: this experience seems typical of day-time DXM trips. Most people's DXM experiences have occurred at night.]

I've done 350mg during the day (before a lecture). What I noticed was that everything was pretty bright, I felt a great buzz, and I was tremendously relaxed. Since I could see everything, the feeling of disjointed limbs was pretty intense, too. If you have roboed enough, I say go for it. I can pass for sober at this level easily, too, so it's safe to do in public. But YMMV.

I tried my first robodose this Friday. I went up to Walmart's and bought 8oz of Vicks 44. I was planning on doing it with a friend, but right after I had downed about 2oz(of the 4 that I did) a girl called and asked me on a date.

Well, I asked my friend that I was dosing with if it would be all right if I ditched him. He said it was fine(knowing that I don't get too many dates, especially good looking ones). I finished off the other 2 oz, then I met her at a smoking hall. We sat around and talked awhile, I told her that I was drugged and that I may not be completely coherent throughout the night ;)

We couldn't find a movie to watch, so we went back to my place(she was driving, obviously) and talked a bit more. I was just beginning to feel the effects when we were talking at my house. (The initial were having trouble walking, and a slight distortion in background noise) During when we talked, I had "Indiffence" by Pearl Jam on... the music felt great, it just ran through my body. My whole body and mind felt as if they were new, like I was five years old again. I actually managed to hold a decent conversation.

I went to put in The Wall (movie) by Pink Floyd. We sat back on my bed and watched it, this is when the visual distortions began to come on. At first there were slight trails, then there were waves, like the fabric of the universe was flowing. At about "Another Brick in the Wall part 3" I couldn't get both my eyes in sync, one looked normal, the other was rotated off at 45'. By the end of The Wall, the effects were lessening, and I was still feeling good, no hard come down. She took me to get my car(I felt as if I could drive now), and we went back to her place. We sat down on her bed and talked for another 4 hours. A really good date, and a very good trip. In the morning, I felt fresh, a little tired because of only getting 3 hours of sleep, but no cotton mouth, no hang over.

Unfortunately, my friend, who I ditched :(, went to a party and started puking. But he understood(although he says he'll never robodose again ;) I would recommend robodosing to anyone who can hold down the syrup...I think it was the best trip in my life.

I've posted a few DXM experiences a while back, and recently had another... every time I think I have this drug figured out, something REALLY odd happens! This time, it started at a friends house where we all smoked a little pot. After that, I went home and ate 12 Drixorals. (good thing that's all I had). I've experimented with a lot more than this, but I didn't feel like going to get more caps! Anyway, after the caps started working, my earlier high had settled into a really mellow feeling.

When the DXM peaked, the most I can remember is laying on my bed thinking "wow, that's odd how I can still move my legs even though they aren't attached to my body anymore!" This was WAY cool and didn't bother me in the slightest bit at the time. I was totally convinced that my body had separated into 2 parts, but I was amazed that I could still control them both. I was laying there for a loooong time just wiggling my feet and stuff just because it seemed so strange!!

Other than that and one other incident which I'll describe later, the trip was just your standard flying around and stuff. The other weird thing that happened to me was when I was just sitting and listening to some pink floyd. All of a sudden, there was a lot of confusion in my mind of what I was seeing, and what I was imagining. I've always been able to pretty much distinguish the two before. this time, it felt a lot more like an acid trip than usual. It felt like I discovered another set of "eyes" somewhere just above my real eyes, and that these eyes were looking out at a different reality. Once I straightened that out in my mind, I could switch back and forth!

When I switched to the new reality, I remember at one point being confused as to which was actually my original reality. I couldn't remember whether I was sitting at home or standing in this long hallway. that's about all I can remember tho. =(

I dunno if anyone has had similar experiences, but I started thinking ... when I'm on a trip, I have a life in that reality. when the trip is over and that reality disappears, that life must die, right? So... then I started thinking about what if my life as I know it now is only a similar sort of occurrence, then what will happen to me when this "trip" is over? Hmm.... then I started thinking that it would be possible for me to be the only person who is actually "real" in my reality, and that anyone and everything else is just produced by my thoughts. This was a GREAT part of the trip... I felt like I was a god. in fact... Later on I created a reality for a small population of beings, then destroyed it... well, just because I could. =)

Well, here goes my weekly DXM trip report! hehehehee... this one was pretty boring.(420mg) it started getting good around 2:30am and I was already REALLY tired, so I didn't get a lot of good visuals like I usually do. Anyone else ever have this happen??? But the one cool thing that I remember from last night was the conversation with my friends ducks. Yeah, sounds odd... but these ducks convinced me that they were the keepers of time or something to that effect, and that they could control time itself. I remember chatting to these ducks at great length in my mind.

Well, I had recently posted an article stating that my most recent DXM trip was practically uneventful... I think I spoke too soon! Over the past few days, I've slowly began to remember more and more of it! Now that I'm able to recall a few strange new experiences, I'll try to describe them.

This is definitely a new feeling for me on a DXM trip... I remember at one point I found myself living out one of my memories of when I was 5 years old and staying at my grandparents house. I remember thinking I was actually there again. I was outside on a bright, clear, summer day riding my tricycle with a neighbor girl while my grandmother was watching me. This was a really short memory, but it made me feel great being there again since my grandmother died about 2 years after this. (I'm 21 now) for some reason, I felt like the period of time while I was tripping was linked to the time period of my memory... that's the only way I can describe what it felt like immediately after living through the memory again.

Hmmmm so far the max dosage I've taken has been 560mg (yesterday), and I think I knew who I was . . but it got really strange. Having downed a bottle of Formula 44, I put some Front 242 into my walkman (which I listened to continually until dark when I switched to White Zombie) and just took a long walk. As I walked down the trail near my house I began to pace my walk to the beat of the song, snap my fingers, do little spins on the road, none of which I normally don't do (no shit), but it just felt so good to move. And when I think my trip was peaking I saw/felt something invisible, yet incredibly large and fast, moving around me in the forest. Very intense. So much more than an acid smurf, I felt as though it WAS the forest, trying to contact me.

I started my journey about 8pm. Finished the pills in a span of about 30 minutes. About 30-45 minutes later, I started feeling the familiar effects of drowsiness. I decided that it would be best to get out and do something before I fell asleep and wasted my time. It was about 9:00, so I went to my favorite alternative club where there was an awesome "mind candy" band called Mindseye playing. There weren't more than 20 people in the club including the two bands that were playing. I just kicked back in a booth, closed my eyes, and went on an internal trip that lasted at least 45 minutes, although it felt like hours.

I had a sensation of moving into a higher realm of thought. I was so focused on the music that it became a part of my consciousness and my being. Opening my eyes just became a letdown because it reminded me that I was in reality. :) So I just closed them again and enjoyed the phosphenes that were running rampant through my brain. The only part I didn't like was the feeling of being in a Doom game without the monsters. I felt like I was running through the corridors and riding the elevators. Oh, well. Nobody promised that it would be COMPLETELY enjoyable.

Anyway, after the set, I went to the bar to order a Miller Lite. The barkeep said that they didn't have Miller Lite. I asked for Coors Light. He said he didn't have Coors Light. [blank stare with severely dilated pupils] "What light beers do you have?" "Lite." "Lite?" "Lite." "Lemme have that, then" "$1.50" ("Hey, great price", I thought) It was Miller Lite. Oh, well. It felt like I was arguing for 30 minutes. Gawd, I hate interacting with people in that condition.

I staggered back to my booth (at least it FELT like staggering ... it felt REALLY weird to walk) and sipped my beer while watching the band take down their equipment. They looked like a bunch of worker bees from my perspective, and is was really interesting to watch. Drinking was an unusual experience, too. It was like the first time I had ever drunk anything. All my movements were very slow, methodical, and calculated.

After I finished my beer, I went down to a techno club I had been meaning to visit. It was about midnight. I know that this is a big lapse in time. I guess I wasted 2 1/2 hours in that bar listening to the jukebox and watching the band. It was only 4 blocks, but the way my legs were moving, it felt like I was walking stiff-legged the whole way. Fortunately, it was a slow night on my city's version of Bourbon St., and I only passed about 5 people on the way.

The doorman was the next big hurdle. Actually, I managed to keep myself fairly composed. He warned me that it was kinda slow, and I went into a repeat of the beer discussion. "Slow?" "Slow." "Okay." (trying to avoid giving myself away, even though my pupils filled my eyeballs) I handed him the two bucks he asked for and walked in. I found an empty couch and plopped down. It was heavily padded and had a low back. Perfect for slouching. The DJ was playing a fantastic mix of techno and classic rock. As the night wore on, she was playing almost constant techno. They have a light show that is really something to be seen. The dance floor is surrounded by mirrors that reflect the blue lights from the bar and make it look like a cityscape from the year 2020. VERY impressive in my condition.

The only times I got up were to go to the john twice and to the bar once for water. Walking got stranger and stranger. I think I was having trouble keeping my balance, but I don't remember staggering. The worst part was the feeling that I was choking on my uvula. My mouth felt dry, and water wasn't helping. It must have been the anesthetic effects of DXM. I stayed there for two hours in the same spot only moving the three times I mentioned. I was still not bored, but I figured that since it was 2am, it was about time to get home. This may have been a mistake. The streetlights had started tracing, and the blinking lights were playing hell on my perception.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have driven home, but I was broke, so a cab was out of the question, and there was no way I could have sobered up. I didn't feel drunk. It just felt like all my surroundings were foreign. I paid extra-close attention to my driving, but still nearly jumped out of my skin at the sight of police. I got home in one piece and fell asleep to the mellow sounds of Pink Floyd's Ummagumma disc 2.

I woke up around 9:30am, fully alert. Checked my eyes. Fully dilated. Made an excuse to get out of the house, wearing shades. Went to see a movie with a friend, which was pretty fun. I was still feeling a bit weird. The dark theater helped me relax. Got out of the movie and went home. My eyes were normal by this time, although I still felt a little strange. That feeling lasted until about 7pm. So the brunt of the trip lasted about 12 hours and the after-effects lasted another 11. WOW!

I had just got home from work and decided to do DXM, so I took about 600mg and went downstairs and turned on the radio to wait for it to begin. Well, I guess what happened next is I fell asleep before I started tripping. Boy, about 3-4 hours later I woke up from having the most incredible dreams/hallucinations ever! The best part was that the dreams were under my control {even the really funky ones}. While dreaming, I had started to make my own, and have fun with the ~normal~ ones. They were very imaginative, creative, and about the most visually clear dreams I have ever had. And what is even better, the music on the radio, influenced my later dreams so that the theme of the song was sometimes the visual side of the dream I was having.

Well anyway, I later found out by experimenting, that if you choose songs with good themes or stories in them you could almost live them while they sang. I find that to be a very wonderful side of DXM, I can not wait until next time.

I felt heavily stoned. It was hard to track objects with my eyes, and I often had double vision. Objects looked far away, but not out of proportion (e.g. the small TV a few feet away looked like a HUGE TV many feet away). Walking was difficult-I felt like a robot. I had preloaded my 5 disc changer (Pink Floyd Animals, Dark Side, Beethoven Sym #9, Shostakovich #5, and Electric Ladyland). Laid on my couch w/ a good pair of headphones, and only the light of the Xmas tree, and entered another world. The music totally pulled me in, I could no longer feel my body or the headphones, I felt like I was in some strange video game, flying over computer generated terrain. I often felt like I was in a huge concert hall listening to the music come from all around me. I was always in control, though. If I opened my eyes I could return to 'reality'. Incredible!!

(side note: I _highly_ recommend the Shostakovich #5 for DXM trips. The music has a real dramatic Russian flair, and is alternately dreamy and very intense. Being a 'modern' classical piece, it is strange enough to sound like it is from another world when on DXM. The Bernstein recording of it should be less than 10 bucks.)

Starts real mellow. A body warming. Slightly drunk and dizzy. In a very good way. A "boozy" drunken feeling it is not, maybe like Seconal. A definite "in the body" thing. Started cutting corners close, bumping into walls. Distortions in my spatial perception. Sight slightly blurry. Impossible for me to read small print. Underlying calmness.

Music is much more enjoyable. A kind of craving for louder and harder beats. Enjoying the textures of the tape hiss between tracks.

Strange disjointed thought process. Underlying calmness. Full warping of subspace. Pin Head with expansive arms/legs. Incredible head size. Warping and folding of body. Incredible spatial distortions.

Had to lie down on bed with no light. Wind was howling but I was calm. Continued spatial and mental distortions, but with a calmness telling me the trip was going to be okay. Never "totally" lost it like with LSD. Underlying calmness throughout entire trip which is unlike LSD for me. LSD tends to be a "speedy", tense kind of trip for me. Hard for me to ride an LSD trip because of the tenseness.

[I don't usually include unspecified dosage trip descriptions, but P. L. writes exceptionally well, and I think this particular piece may capture the essence of a high second plateau trip better than anything else I've yet found. Though probably written after the trip itself, the form of his writing is in many ways characteristic of the thought processes of a DXM trip. Enjoy!]

Hello friends. Yesterday I was feeling a touch lethargic. I had woken up only around 2pm and generally felt like a lazy bum. I messed around for a while on the computer, reading email and news. Well not really a while because I emerged from a semi-comatose state at around 6 PM. I decided shutting the computer off would be the wise thing to do at that point so that is what happened as it were.

Grabbing a bit or 10 from the cafeteria, I pondered the slogan of Jester cafeteria: "What you Don't Know Can't Hurt You." I didn't know what I was eating but so it didn't hurt me unless you count starch overload and gaseous pain as bad, which I don't. Upon returning to my room I arrived. The roommate of mine, Mr. James was entirely present at once giving studying a go of it.

"James, I lamented," I said at the time, "Studying on a Saturday night?"

"Yeh," he said. Noting that he did not say "Yeah" but more of a "Yeh" with a long uuuh sound. I seated myself on the seat infrontwise of the computer and flicky the switch that turney it on. Reading news and mail for even more longer periods of time I morosed at my situation again. Spotting the presence of many drixoral cough caps in my desk drawer I suddenly developed a rather severe cough requiring immedietly medical attendonitis.

Writing myself a perspiration is wont to help being the situation as it pleased me so, I consumfed the pills regularly quick. Putting clothes on (nekkid was I this whole time) rendered me fully clothed and I discovered that my ears were detecting strains of bizarre religious Korean music wafting from a box adorning Mr. James' desk. "Thinking this won't do," I said quietly determined to find my own tunes. I put on the headphones and started to play the Musak of all. Quickly finding the bright light unappealing, and noticing I was on the higher floor of the dorm, I elected to faraway to a more pastoral clime.

Gathering my belongs into a green bag that materialized in my paws, I forgot to include a wonderfully handy Mini-Mag lite that would have solved woeful problems I encountered later in the evening. Note the clever use of foreshadowing in the previous passage. I included amongst these materials a Walk-man and tapes of various important American rock-and-roll bands the devil's music as it were. Also was cigarettes and the important useful lighter, black in color. I considered flooding my guitar into my pocket and percolating that too, but the accoustics were suffering as a result of the stuffage so I left saying, "Good-bye, Mr. James! I will see you later."

Shaky swagger down the hall stopping to release bladderfuls of concerns into porcelain. My heart was heavy and my eyes were dim as I realized it was almost 45 minutes since ingesting the ahem medicine and the effectingness were starting to notice upon me. I stepped outside into the lovely cool air noting the temperature was neither hot nor cold. It seemed to me to be like one of the oft-remembered nights-on-the-town of Incline yore.

I stooped beneath an old oak tree adorning the lawn at the corner of East 21st Street, Austin Texas 78705-9005 postal code and the nearby adjacent San Jacinto street. I smoked a filthy cancer stick noting that the taste was unusually pleasantly remindful of smoking past with the combination of the evil grass leaf, cannabis sativa. You see, I usually smoked Camel Special Lights (TM) (R) along with the bad mary jee-wana and the taste is remindful as I was smoking the selfsame ciggies last night. The music was continually playing note after note in my left and right ear, being the Dead (who are ironically alive) playing a lovely China Cat Sunflower -> I Know You Rider which is lovely. The notes started to close my eyes and I rode along the golden crest of waves.

Simply sitting under the tree was the time first of all that I realized that the miniature Mag-lite would have been useful to sort my assortment of un-sorted musical tapes. As it was dark. I decided to move myself closer to the light-source illuminating and perched high humpty-dumpty style on a wall of sorts nearto and overlooking the street aforementioned. Many people passed nearby (but never touching) as this was a busy sort of street near many dorms including the one in which I lived. I looked at the popel but touching was not done. Bored getting was I though I had only barely begin to tripppp out.

In the U of T, A there is a feature architechtually or landscaping-known in some circles considered to be a South Mall to which I decided to rest my bones. In front of the largest Penis in the Sated of Texas is a large Lawn named the South Mall. At the North End of the South Lawn is a statuesque of Jefferson who is also holding a dildo in his left hand (this is true.)

Across the lawn is clearly visible the State Capitol of Texas forming a large line across the city of Austin, Tekas. Walking wise the mile or less to this site seemed to take a longishly short amount of time as my feet moved very very fast it seemed. I knew at this point that the effects of my uh cough medication were takingly effects. I found the South Mall where I left it from Last Time which was friday. I walked across the ocean of green (though sort of blue in the flourescent and moonlight) grass to the exact center of the lawn. I was now part of the line betweenwixt the afro mentioned objects. Laying on the underside of of my back I noticed the milky way gladcy was lining up to me too.

My rain falls like crazy fingers. I straighting out my possesions including the hat atop my head blocking my access to the ground. If not for hair, we would all be bald so be thankful. Many times when you are thinking about the Earthy you picture your place being that one of a flat area plane. Rarely is it an enticing thought to actually see yourself in a round sphere at the apex. Well my friends at this point in the Tale I will draw a diagram:

             /^\
           ooooooo
         (ooooooooo)	
        /ooooooooooo\
       (ooooooooooooo)>-|o    <- [Fig. 2: "Me"]     *
        \ooooooooooo/                               |
         (ooooooooo)               [Fig. 3: "Nearest Star"]
           ooooooo
             \,/
            [Fig. 1: "The Earth"]

In other words I was sitting at the very nearest point of the Eard to the point in space I was looking straight up at. Believe me it took a long time to draw that stupid Earth Fig 1. I don't even know what figs have to do with it.

I thought of Sumner also at that instant, though I am not sure what connection he has here at this time. I flippeded the tape over and listening to "Loser" no not the recent Dylan-esque pop-bubblegum classique recorded by the late Beck but the old Dead song. I am telling you now (in just a second) that the guitar solo was more than I had heard. Wow. Well I just told you. I flipped the tape over and started hearing the following song that I heard, which was "Good Lovin" and I got some. Following that was the Drums solo and that was wild so I was just a grovin' to everything.

I lit up another ciggie and noticed the taste was even more loveler and before. I beheld that I only had a few left so I had best conserve them lest I run out before the night was through. "So this will be the last one for a while" was my line of thought here.

Now here comes the crux of the story, or the je ne sais quai or the climax if you are sexually obsessed: I don't know what I did with the lighter. I mayhaps have tossed it aside into the yon fields of grass or stuffed it into a nook and or a cranny or put it aside, but the being point I was making is that it's GONE. No light no smoke. I realize this as Drumz goes back into Good Lovin. Finally the words start again, and aghast I say out loud to myself, "This was all one song?! I thought it was, well," more songs, I said. I lookie at all the peeplies walking aboust on a proustly Saturday night. Many of them are perhaps wondering to themselves as, "Who is this guy on the grass anywhays," or "Damn, my last joint," or perhaps as, "I wonder if that guy on the grass has a really bad cough or something?" But the answer was for none to see.

Rather surprising at once point was when a guy walking merrily about his way down the bath suddenly stooped and did a cartwheel. As this person was now spinning about a purple axis, I wondered, "Did my eyes just decieve me or did that person suddenist spin around a pooply axis, bold as love?" Such recriminations were nost in order though as I heard "Dancing in the Streets" and "Morning Dew" in the next order. I had by now rolled around considerably on the grass and perplexing the poor stuff. It felt rather soft and nice to my trippy hands. Finally I took out my Dead 5/2/70 tape and put in the Beetles 'own "Blue Album" collection of song materials.

Listening to "Strawberry Fields Forever" as I surveyed the surrounding architecture I noted a large Church religious shire near. Thinking the origional Strawberry Fields was religious related in Liverpudlian, I floated up and down the lawn lamenting the lack of personages familiar to me. Penny Lane was in my ears and in my eyes, beneath the dark star filled sky. I did discover the missingosity of my beloved lighter used to create fire. I spent quite a long unfortunate time seaching for this piece of machinery. It was becoming the focal point of my existance. As all of the people currently reading this epic toem have been under the influenced of the evil mary Juanta plant can attest to this feces: LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WHEN STONED IS BAD NEWS. Everythingly seems to take forever whike you wonder, "Did I look here before?" I searched my green bag which was laying leisurely near me. I searched my pockets and my jacket and the ground near me, but the lighter had mysteriously vanished into the nether-lighter realm. Eventually drugging the passages of "A Day In The Life" I gave up my quest (temporaly) and gathered my remaining belongings up and walked to the North.

Wondering abits with nothing to do, I feeled the need to urinate again (After all I had drank quite a bit of liquids in revealing the drixorals to my stomach) so headed to the nearest Building. Which happened to be the Undergrad Library, which happened to be closed. I proceeded to the NEXT building, which was the infamous Student Union upon entering. Mostly it was closed as well but some areas of the large structurly were open for business of any ports. Finding it very berry difficult to walk at this time, I turned off my headphones. It seems that the bassline of "All You Need Is Love" was effecting the movements of my feet in such a way that made walking impossible. The walls were beginning to melt and Greg Brady was emerging from the woodwork in a way that I Wish he wouldn't. Feeling OK Soda for the moment though, I thought about Where I found a Bathroom on my Summer Vacation. Near the bowling alley.

Bowling Alley?! No bowling alley in a Student Union, were there? Sure enough there was and it was quite packed with younders enjoying all sorts of sports infolving throwing heavy balls at white pins. Luckily for me the balls of all sorts were evading my head and extremities, but Not for Long! I wondered how could that last after all I Was standing in the "alley" as they termed it for throwing the balls at the pins. "Cries of," hey what's that moron thinks he's doing, and Get out of the way, dummy! "Accompanied my fusilade." Jimping merrily dodging heavy black spheres, I foundst my way to the pretty potty. Ah, relief I shouted as the stream of pee-pee failed to erupt. "Oh yeah," I thought, "I gotta turn it on!" And so it were. I urinated most merrily.

My lighter, I thought, is still missing. Perhaps I could find it by the light of my faithful dog Cragsemere. The sauana bathroom light provided the illumination neccesary to conduct another investigation into the whereabouts of the light but no further progross was made. A FREAK was in the bathroom with me. I gourd hardly see the poor man though as cough pills tend to alleviate that nasty vision thing, and he was melting and falling to bits as it were. Ruminating should I held the fellow get back together in one piece, no Fuck him! I shouted and ran out of the room (it was a bathroom.)

Strugglying to find my way to the street I came across an endless field. It shimmered and shimmied for a moment and a bus stop filled the void. A bus came buy and I got on that's when it all began. There was a Cowboy named Neal at the wheel of the bus to never-ever land. Finally tombledown I reached the end of the Union and emerged blasphmeming into the street. Music resumed playing at this thyme, goo goo gaa joob was the ralleying cry.

Surely my eyes aren't decieving me, but I swore this girlie that I knew from way back on the Island walks by and says, "Hallo" as she is want to do. Me as I was fiddeling with stuff didn't realized it until after the time, Butt I said "Hallo" anyway. Who knew? Maybe next year I will get a right hook too. Walking down Guadalouppe (the Drag) why a drag it was, too. I found myself in the West Mall this time, which is different from the South Mall in that it plays to the West rather than Southerly, and there is little to know grass here. Turn that damn guitar down! Well I float in liquid gardens and Arizona's new red sands. I sat to recoup and gain my senses and possibly replace the tape I am playing with.

Sitting on the bench my eyes become rather bizarrely orientated. Have you seen the films of the science-fiction? It is somewhat approximately like that. A small roving portion of my eye becomes disctinctly focued and magnificationly wise. I use this new-found super power for the dardest of deeds, to look for that darnded lighter again. Instead my roving eye focuses in on a steady stream of ants coming this way! Now I hate ants dearly and I stand up to avoid them at all costs. Sure enough one clings to my hand which I shake off.

Finding another place to stand, I realized that my music was not playing the correct notes! Often times the notes were slower than intended. So I replace the batteries (this is hard with 1 hand, 1 hook, and 34 drixorals.) And select a new tape, one with a mix of many bands. That def dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball. By now I am surely an adjective descriped as "PEAKING" and since I have lost my lighter I am near the point of crying tears. My vision is not so good as because things are dripping and rearranging right before my eyes, surely not an effect of a psychadelic drugs?

I decide to make my way gently and slowly to my home-time abode. I wonder, "What time is it?" so I check my watch to find out the answer to this lovely question. It seems the watch face has melted onto my wrist. It is therefore impossible to find out the time, but fortunately the U of T, A is equipped with an extra-large Penis as noted before. This Penis chimes out the hour every hour on the hour. I found it to be by now 12 midnightly by my reckoning.

I found my way back to the South Mall and gave the damn grass a once-more going over to find my lighter. No luck so I lay down on the grass. My body quite literally melts into the earth, leaving the essence of my soul clinging to the ground like a vapor. However, perhaps the source of this disturbance can be found. You see I cannot verily go to French class on Monday if my body has melted into the Earth, can I now? The musak goes out of Space (for those of ye who don't know, a very bizarre sound-effects weird thing done at Dead shows) and into a song, "The Other One." The guitar notes emerging from Space into Other One is the life-force that slowly ebbs back into my body. It rises from the ground, engulfs my body, and I rise from the Dead so to speak.

I was very pleased that my soul found a home again, because I had a paper due in English coming up and it's hard to type if your soul's body has melted into the ground. I decide now would be a good time to return sightly home again. I make my way back to the lovely Moore-Hill dorm (my home). Smoking (en francais, fumar) is verboten dans el Universitudo, so you have to smoke your dagga outside. I cleft a ciggie to my lips and learn again that I have no light. Damn! However, there is a studnut run radio station in the next building. some nasty hippie kids are standing by the door smoking, so I figure how can I get a light from them? Being near them would be a good start. I try to be near them but they have disappered. They are gone. I go back to my corner of the universe, and sure enough there they are again. I am afraid that I cannot speak, so I forget about the whole situation and smoke an unlit cig. Making my way inside and up to my room, I put the key in the lock and twist and turn for ages. Finally the door is agahst and Mr. James is standing lookin' perplexed. "The door was open the whole time," he scowls at me.

"Oh. Still studying?" I ask nochalantly but I am given away. I was speaking a foul alien tounge and now HE KNOWS. "Yeh." But then he leaves so I am left alone. I run into the shower and cleanse myself. This is a difficult task while still frying fully. Several times I have to remind the water to behave itself. Eventually I am done and return to my room. I turn the light off and sit down on the bed.

For the first time that night, I realize exactly what went on (that I was tripping, etc.) I think I have come down, but not completely. I turn on the music again and relax to the edifying tunes of music. I fall asleep abliss and think, "Tomorrow I will write my mates and remind them of my learnings and travels."

Well, what did you think? I am suprised you read this far without flicking off the screen, thinking, "What a loose screw."

But I am off to get some chowder.

Anonymous (male, 73kg). 135mg (1.85mg/kg)

[This experience is atypical for such a low dose, and I believe that this unfortunate individual lacked the normal P450-2D6 enzyme. As a consequence, the duration and strength of the trip were much greater than usual, and very little of the DXM was converted into DXO. Thus, this may be a good example of the effects of a sigma agonist with little or no NMDA activity.]

It began OK about 40 minutes after taking the Robo, but without any especially interesting effects. I began to feel very relaxed and warm, almost feverish (although without a real fever). Talking took a little concentration.

Soon I began to feel a little nauseated. Any time I moved my head, I became VERY nauseated, but if I sat still the nausea was only mild. I began to see double, which was expected from what I'd read before, but could usually correct this with a little effort. Walking gradually grew almost impossible because, when moving around, I couldn't tell which way was up. Then I began to have spells of worse nausea, accompanied by an intense feverish feeling and sweating, then by waves of coolness. Downing a lot of cold water seemed to help the nausea and feverish feeling as much as anything, but at its worst I really wondered if I might be dying, although that possibility seemed devoid of emotional content (as did most everything else that was happening the whole time).

I took the DXM at 6:00 PM. By 8:00 I was thinking "Hmm, I probably won't try this again any time soon" and feeling very bad, especially when I tried to eat some guacamole. It was becoming impossible to concentrate on the TV show that was on, and difficult to talk. My lips became mildly numb. Finally, about 9:00, I decided to see if laying down would help (I'd been leaning back in a reclining chair). Whenever I closed my eyes or turned out the lights, I began to hallucinate in a completely boring way: I began to see what seemed like many parallel streams of type, in a variety of typefaces, sizes, and colors, emerging simultaneously from a multitude of invisible sources. Most of the time they didn't seem to make any sense, but sometimes I felt that there was a message in them that I should understand. Later I could see, in brief flashes, brightly colored cartoon-like moving faces and what seemed to be animated billboards or TV commercials. Sometimes the streams of type would be replaced by streams of musical notes on multiple musical staves, all in color (but without any accompanying sound). The waves of nausea and fever also continued, though more widely spaced and less severe.

All this I found very tiresome, though not frightening: I just wanted it to go away so I could rest. I tried listening to the radio. Music was impossible to take, but talk radio seemed to give me some distraction from the hallucinations (even when I couldn't focus on the conversations). Finally at about midnight it began to fade away. I dozed off several times over the next 5 hours, once for as long as an hour; the first couple of times, when I awoke, I had some trouble telling where I was.

All the next day I felt weak and nauseated, but my emotional disposition was even better than usual (go figure!). I had to force myself to eat. By 9 PM that night (i.e., about 27 hours after the dose of DXM) I was feeling about normal again, though nausea still came and went over the next 12 hours.

What I bought was a 10 pack of Contac CoughCaps, 30 mg per capsule. I read the box over carefully and the instructions said that the product contained lactose. Since I have a lactose intolerance I decided it would be a good idea to take a LactAid pill before the trip. My lactose intolerance is pretty bad - if I chug a glass of milk without adding the enzyme I get leg cramps so severe that I can't walk. But with the enzyme it's no problem at all.

Anyway, I ate dinner at around 6:30 and then decided to see the 9:35 show - Bad Boys. (it sucked rocks compared to OutBreak). We got there REALLY early and I took 5 CoughCaps at 8:30 along with one LactAid pill. This was my first time on DXM so I wanted a low dose in case of any adverse reaction. 30mg X 5 pills for a total of 150mg.

I was expecting the effects to start in about half an hour and peak in 1.5 to 2 hours. However, even with food in my stomach, I felt the initial effects in 15 MINUTES. There was a slight tension in my pineal gland, the same feeling I get when blotter starts to hit. (take a sharp pencil and slowly bring the sharpened end between your eyebrows and up a little bit. You will probably be able to feel a weird sensation even before the pencil is near your skin - that's the feeling I get)

My girlfriend smoked half a j before we went into the theater; I didn't smoke any. So, we went in and the staff had the area roped off until five minutes before the show. I swear we were standing in a hot, crowded, and loud room for a day at least. (actual duration of the wait was about 45 minutes) This was when it really kicked in - not a good place to get very high very quickly. I felt like I was PISSED OUT OF MY TREE. I started to get really hot and I wanted to take off my jacket but I couldn't because I was smuggling a couple bottles of pop in. I was getting dangerously close to bugging out but managed to control it without too much difficulty. I think I felt like bugging out because it was simply a new experience. I'd never dosed on it before and the effects hit me far more quickly and strongly than I had expected; based on the FAQ. I'm pretty experienced and careful when it comes to drugs so that wasn't a factor in being unprepared.

Anyway, the staff moved the ropes and every stampeded to get into the fucking theater. I felt like slammin' people. 8) Once we got a good seat and sat down I felt FAR more relaxed and in control of my mental state. I was looking forward to watching a cool show while being high - especially listening to the music and effects.

It actually sucked rocks. The DXM didn't make music seem more enjoyable. I found myself analyzing the show instead of enjoying it. Oh well. That club hell place looked pretty cool. I peaked during the previews and was COMPLETELY CRASHED by the end of the show. (11:45pm).

I wasn't really impressed with the shit at all. Maybe it was because of a shitty setting. Driving home afterwards in THICK juicy snowflakes really blew as well. At least I hadn't reduced myself to chugging cough syrup. I found that the DXM was too much like alcohol in it's 'blunt hammering effect'. I hate getting pissed and this just reminded me of it. I can't imagine what it would be like if I took, say, 300mg (the whole package). That would have just been fucking hostile.

I think it would be a better drug for partying rather than just sitting down and chilling with a beer or two. Now that I know what to expect from it I think I'll try more small doses at doing different things to get a fairer judgment on it.

Oh ya - this shit will make your pupils dilate just like blotter does. I noticed this when I got home. I never noticed any itching at all and had only a mild cramp in one leg after the trip. I think another LactAid pill would have been helpful. I felt great coming down; really smooth and gradual compared to the initial shock. Had some great sex afterwards and felt great in the morning.

An entire 100ml bottle of 15mg/10ml DM was ingested, in about the same timeframe as the first experience. There was no pseudoephedrine (or any other active ingredients) in the preparation - just DM, and I believe a bit of alcohol, tho at the dose taken, I don't believe this altered the experience any. The same friend who had tried it with me the first time, also ingested it. (same amount as I used)

The effects came on in a similar fashion to the ones stated above, only the drunkenness became much worse, as did the disassociated feeling (as if my mind was separated from my body and the surrounding physical world). Friend's condition appeared to be the same, perhaps a bit more intense. The motion-perception became very very unusual, it really did feel as if I were gliding smoothly along (like a slug), or hovering, when I walked.

For awhile this was interesting, we spent what felt like perhaps an hour in subjective time (I'm not sure how much time actually passed) playing in a park with all sorts of stone structures & fountains and waterfalls, and twisting pathways, trees, and a big pond. (I love that place. Whoever designed it had psychedelic users in mind ;) It was night-time. Eventually the effects (especially the slowed down, drunken feeling) started getting really intense, and we decided it would be best to return to the apartment. Again, there were no significant visual or audio hallucinations. There were some slight visual effects, similar to those experienced on pot or hash. My thoughts still felt fairly clear and lucid, although there was a very odd feeling, again it sort of felt as if I were nearing a threshold to a real mind-altering experience, but not quite able to make it there. Something in my head was definitely f*cked, but in a subtle way - I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was more of an emotional change than perceptual, as with acid.

After returning to the apartment, things got really bad. Both of us could barely move, we ended up laying on the balcony moaning and thinking we were dying. It was not fun, certainly not an enlightening "psychedelic" experience that most people seem to think DM is. Eventually we realized that we were starting to come down, and believed that perhaps we might survive the experience. The fear that I was dying was almost unbearable. I also got the diarrhea again, however it was not as severe (perhaps because I had ate plenty of solid food that day, unlike the previous experience). It might be worth mentioning that neither of us mentioned that we were afraid we were dying until we began to return to reality a bit- so this rules out suggestion being the cause of it all.

The next day, I got a little bolder. I downed the remaining portion of the bottle. This amounted to 240 mg (80 ml or 16 teaspoons or 2/3 of the bottle). I ate some food both times, so this may have delayed the start of the effects. Perhaps there was a little bit left in my system from the day before.

I was sitting down, doing some reading, and nothing happened for well over an hour or maybe two hours. Then, all of the sudden, I got a severe heat flash. It felt like a sick wave flowing over my entire body. I could even feel a strong buzzing (almost like pain) in the roots of my teeth. Every inch of skin on my body felt like it was next to a hot water bottle. I was very light headed and thought I was going to die. I quickly scribbled information on a piece of paper to tell anyone that found me what I had taken. The heat flash went away after what seemed like 5 or 10 minutes. Actually it was probably only a minute or two. I felt my forehead and it was dripping with sweat.

I was OK for a while after that. I talked with a friend for about 10 or 15 minutes, but it seemed like hours. Again, I was very talkative. I felt like I was making sense, and having an enjoyable time. I just felt spacy. There were no visual hallucinations, but things did look a bit foggy.

After my friend left I got several more heat flashes. They seemed to be getting closer together. Each time, I thought I was going to die or at least pass out. Each time it happened, I just kept telling myself, "I'm going go get through this." over and over. VERY unpleasant!

I walked around a little bit. My head seemed to be bobbing up and down like you feel while sitting in a small boat on the waves. Things were a little distorted. I felt like a midget walking down the hall. I had some difficulty talking coherently. My eyes started to burn, and my mouth became excessively dry. I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds. I tried to focus on reality so I wouldn't loose control. I used to use MJ so I was able to keep from panicking, but it is still a scary to face the unknown.

As the frequency of the heat flashes increased, I began to wonder if the DM was still getting into my system, and making things worse. I had serious doubts about whether or not I could get myself home in this condition. I determined that if things got any worse, that I might die, so I picked up a phone book and started looking for emergency numbers. I remember being totally frustrated because I knew I wanted to find a number to call to get help, but all I could do was flip the pages. I couldn't figure out exactly what to look up. Finally, I looked inside the front cover. 911 seemed a little drastic. The only other number was poison control. After several attempts, I finally dialed the number successfully. The problem was that I couldn't remember which digit I had just dialed or which one to dial next. I was quite incoherent on the phone, and had a lot of difficulty giving my address, phone number, etc. The lady told me that I had taken quite a lot, and that I should have someone take me to a hospital. I asked what might happen to me if I didn't go, and she said that I possibly could go into a coma and/or stop breathing. This scared me enough that I decided I needed to go in.

I found a friend that was willing to take me in. Thank goodness for friends. In the Emergency Room, I experienced several more heat flashes. My heart rate was up to almost 120 beats per minute when I was at my calmest point. They pumped my stomach and put activated charcoal down me to absorb any remaining DM. That is an experience well worth avoiding! I even preferred the blood and urine tests to the gastric lavage.

My nose and throat were quite sore for several days afterward. I started coming down in less that an hour after these treatments. The doctor told me that the dose wasn't fatal, but if I hadn't come in, I might have passed out, and probably would have continued to experience the symptoms for at least another 8 hours. It would have been a real trick to explain that one to my family. It was hard enough to explain as it was. DM seems to be much more toxic than I had anticipated.

As I came down, my vision cleared up. I realized that the emergency sprinkler system in the ceiling was actually covered with dust. When I first got in there, it looked like it was covered with some crystalline jelly; I didn't even know it was a mild hallucination at the time. So, what good is a hallucination if you don't know it's a hallucination? I wonder what else I hallucinated.

They let me go within about 4 hours after I was admitted to ER At that point, I had a significant head ache, like a heavy hangover. My nose ached deep inside where they had put the tube in. I think it took several more hours for my heart rate to go back to normal. There was also a jittery twitchy feeling in the back of my legs. I didn't sleep well that night. The hangover feeling lasted for another day.

Three days later, I took half of an imipramine (a prescription antidepressant left over from a legitimate prescription) because my head felt a little foggy. A few hours later, I got a miniature heat flash, and felt a little spacy. That never happened before when I was on these antidepressants.

All in all, I think it was a VERY bad experience! Sure there were a few weird effects, but the negatives far outweighed the positives. The dose I took was significantly lower than what some people claim to have taken. I'm just glad I didn't chug the whole bottle at once. Perhaps some people's bodies can handle DM better than mine, but I have also noticed a large increase in people telling about bad experiences with it.

I don't think it's a very good idea to take a chance with DM. But, if you do, please start with lower doses, let a few days pass between doses, and increase the doses gradually. Not like me where I took twice as much as the time before. As for me, I don't think I will ever take DM again! As for you, try something safer, or at least be very careful! BTW, I now hear that the tussin high is quite a bit different than being high on LSD, so I guess I still don't know what acid is like.

As the result of a car accident, my friend had a freak stroke at the age of 18. (The circumstances which caused the stroke are too long and complicated to explain here.) The stroke left him with minimal control of his left arm and a permanent blind spot in a portion of his left eye. One night, over three years after his stroke, he decided to try dextromethorphan with a group of friends. He drank 5 ounces of generic "tussin" (300 mg of dextromethorphan hydrobromide.) Although he consumed less syrup than the rest of us, the drug effected him more than anyone else in our group. In addition to experiencing extreme de-personalization, he reported active hallucinations in his blind spot. He could only describe these hallucinations as "cartoon-like." It was the first time images had appeared in this spot since his stroke. Although these "cartoons" diminished over time and are now gone, they persisted for several days.

My friend did not like the experience and said that he would probably not try DM again. Despite his stroke, my friend is a normal, intelligent guy who does not seem prone to "bad" trips. He enjoys mushrooms and marijuana. Neither of these drugs produce any activity in his blind spot, nor do they have the de-personalizing effect of DM.

Let me provide my testimonial about roboing. Yesterday I picked up an 8 oz. bottle of generic brand extra-strength cough syrup, containing only Dextro as its active ingredient. I immediately downed somewhere under 4 oz. of the stuff. Taste wasn't as bad as I expected. Chugged a good deal of water to wash it down anyway, and nibbled on some bread. Nausea was not a problem at all.

About an hour later it started to hit. Motor skills were definitely impaired. Pupils were very large. I felt like I was on shrooms, but without mood-alterations or significant visuals. Television images appeared to be moving in slow motion like when on acid. Unlike what I've heard posted here, music did not sound very interesting. This was a big disappointment since claims to the contrary were what convinced me to give it a try. I did not feel particularly euphoric or bad. My mood was essentially an unchanged neutral, which was weird since in other respects I was definitely "tripping". I kept saying to myself, "OK, the good part of the trip should be coming soon..." but it never did!

Walking was definitely difficult, although mental functioning seemed to be OK. I carried on many conversations with little difficulty, in contrast to my experiences with shrooms and 'cid. I was hoping the amount I consumed would be a mild dose, but I must say I was significantly affected. I can't imagine what would have happened if I finished the bottle!

It's now 16 hours after the initial consumption. I slept fine last night, but I still feel the effects. My pupils are still huge and I still feel like my motor skills are impaired. (I'm typing much slower now than my usual 100 wpm.).

In short, I guess it was worth the experience but I can't see any reason to try it again. It's lasting longer than any shroom or acid trip I've ever had, and it just ain't nearly as much fun. I'll stick with pot thank you.

THE CHRONOLOGY:

0730: Cold cereal & coffee breakfast.

0830: Took Drixoral (300 mg.)

0930: No effects, took Tussin (240 mg.)

1000: Difficulty walking without noticeable effects (but I think I was able to.) Not unlike mild alcohol inebriation.

1030: Everything kicks in. (I think the caps took a while to dissolve). Only severe motor control difficulties and a general loss of tactile sensation. Lay down.

At this point I spent the next 3 hours lying in bed, not out of necessity, I just didn't feel like moving. I alternated between eyes-open and eyes-closed 'images'. Not acid-like hallucinations, more like visions. Static, unchanging (as opposed to 'melting' or 'swirling') images. I distinctly remember three: The bedspread looked like a far-off mountain range; my leg looked like it was hundreds of feet long, and I remember the peculiar feeling of rotating in a plane in both directions at once (like alcohol 'spins') with no feeling of nausea. This was accompanied by the inexplicable visual equivalent (of spinning both ways at once). There was a period when I was beset by words rather than images. At some point I crawled across the room and pet the cat. I believe that walking would have been practically impossible.

There were no periods of ego-loss or understanding the mysteries of existence, no epiphanies experienced, no greater truths discovered. But hey, it's a narcotic, not a hallucinogen.

1330: Made it onto the couch, watched TV. Feeling pretty much 'normal' except for an unpleasant, whole-body 'ache' and lack of motor skills.

1600: Able to move about almost normally, ache diminishing. Tried to eat a cookie (could only nibble) and drink some Diet Coke(*) (could only sip. WAY to sweet). No nausea.

1700: Able to 'fake' normality (movement, conversation).

The ache continued for another 36 hours, I had very little appetite that evening and the next day. Never felt nauseous. All in all I doubt that I will do it again.

P. G. (male, age 26, 70kg): 525mg (7.5mg/kg)

At 7 p.m., on a mostly empty stomach (he had last eaten at 12:30), he drank 6 oz. of Vicks 44 cough syrup for a DXM dosage of about 525 mg. While he waited for the effects to come on he listened to music. He certainly "enjoyed" it, but felt nothing like euphoria. He started feeling his first effects around 8:30, noting "definite rubber-body sensations." Half an hour later, after a loud clap of (real) thunder "scared the living crap out of" him, he noticed a surging, vibrating sensation in his muscles, and a general body speediness. The effects were mostly physical at this point.

9:15: "Hey, what is this? I just coughed."

Perceptive effects started to become apparent. Music seemed to be less ambient, more "attached" to the speakers; the room no longer contained music as a whole but two units of music. He took a few more swigs from his second bottle of cough syrup as he noticed his 3D perception deteriorating. By 9:30 he was enjoying simply walking around. "I'm doing the grandfather walk and waddling."

9:35: He finished the second bottle, for a total DXM dose of 700 mg. Sometime around here his clothes felt uncomfortably warm, moist, and sticky, and he changed into a T-shirt and shorts. Mental effects were strong now; he began to write more, though writing itself was more difficult since he was losing physical coordination.

"I feel really 'stoned' now, and it's always strange to see such facticity as a toilet in this state."

The ambiance of music continued to diminish:

"Music really went away into its own sucking holes. It doesn't escape far out into the room before it falls to the ground."

At 9:45 he went to the door to see if his cat wanted in; this happened like a normal automatic process (i.e., have thought, get up, walk to door) except for the extreme strangeness of his gait, which he only became conscious of near the end of his movement and which astonished him. It was nothing like a drunken stagger; he walked almost on his toes, with legs bowed and feet about 3 feet apart, and with an exaggerated left-right bobbing.

Music "came back" for one song and he felt like square dancing. Then it went away again. He noted that rhythm seemed to be very important.

9:50: "Smell note- I just farted and the place smells like an outhouse that hasn't been emptied for a month and has not had any sort of modern sanitizer device installed. But the smell disappeared quickly."

And then in his notebook he goes on to complain about how his memory is deteriorating and that he's finding it hard to write more than one sentence about anything. He felt annoyed that he had experienced a host of interesting stimuli but forgot them before he could get to his notebook. In fact his memory seemed to be worse here than at any other time during the trip (it got better later even as the trip intensified).

10:10: "The splatter on the bathroom mirror seemed extraordinary. I wondered what caused it- I thought something I'd done today must have done it. It was just toothpaste splatter. Flying toothpaste particles mixed with water and being shot through the air by the toothbrush bristles."

In the next few minutes, the trip took on a different character. He became physically inactive, lying down on the floor, and external events seemed to matter less and less. Though music was still playing, he was barely conscious of it. At around 10:20, he began to experience a fairly deep dissociative effect, becoming a "free-floating 'I'," his body sinking back into an indifferent realm of matter and flesh.

This free-floating "I" was unique in that, though it was definitely an "I", it also lacked all subjectivity. He experienced this deeply, but feels it is impossible to explain. His mind itself joined his body in the indifferent realm, becoming "just a thing, not too complicated." When he looked at his body, it seemed like a thing that just happened to be there at the time, coincidentally there with the "I". He thought about such things as suicide and murder and was somewhat puzzled that such a big deal was made of them in the human world. They were merely destruction of matter. When he began to consider all the attention the world was devoting to "human issues" in general, he was genuinely perplexed. How strange to worry so much about living bodies, humans!

At 10:35, covering his ass for these objectionable thoughts, he wrote of them: "Not very serious, just a thought train. But it's incredible how removed the 'I' feels from this lump of flesh."

He explored this a bit further: "This lump of flesh is my surrogate, a carrier. It hoists me up on its shoulders and carries me through the marketplace."

"There are a lot of living bodies in the world. What is life? It's just a process. Something in the FAQ about the complete annihilation of the self comes to mind. I seem to feel it." - Yet, there was no anxiety associated with this.

"My TIME seems to have shrunk- I only seem to have existed for a day. Not 26 years. That is incomprehensible. Strange- work on the body for 26 years, etc., - where is it? what is it?"

He then turned to other things. He developed a slight fear that a cop would begin pounding on his door- he felt that his altered state was diffusing through the walls of his apartment and into the outside world, where it would surely attract attention.

By 11:15, he was noticing the physical again. His balance was severely disrupted, and his visual field seemed to update with smearing sluggishness. He sensed his mouth and teeth as a unit; he could no longer discern anything but a unit when he moved his tongue around inside his mouth. He felt a strange sensation he called "swimcap head."

The trip still seemed to be on the upswing. He wrote in short bursts- "intense trip- extreme," "SEVERE loss of balance," "don't know if these words are getting to paper," "just seems to keep increasing in intensity, intensity."

He felt giddy and exuberant, but nonetheless wrote: "Anxiety: This is where I live NOW! it's an apartment! People will see me living in it! Reminds me of life, like a [illegible]." He can't remember what was going through his head while he wrote this.

At 11:50 he noticed that his pupils were greatly dilated, and his eyes seemed bugged out, making his appearance very strange and disturbing; later he found that he would also unknowingly raise his eyebrows whenever he looked in the mirror. His neck felt swollen and bloated. He found it nearly impossible to write, but could do it better if he covered one eye, though the notebook then seemed to shrink to 1.2" x 1.2".

12ish: "still tripping heavily"

12:45: "still heavily stoned"

1:00: "HUMAN reality. I'll be sliding back to this soon. I really felt outside of the human, the biological human. Human life is what I need to look into. The 'I' is slipping back into the body."

He wrote no more, and at 1:30 went to bed. He still felt strong effects, but sleep was coming easily. As his relaxation grew deeper and he spent long periods without moving, he often felt a sensation that his innards had become disordered or relocated to improper places. But at the slightest movement they instantly reordered themselves. He felt no other effects apart from his general stone, and by 2:15 or so he was asleep.

The next morning he had a slight hangover, and his gait was still mildly disturbed. His pupils were dilated all day. He felt a bit spent, but didn't really mind since he was experiencing a fine afterglow from his trip, which on the whole he greatly enjoyed.

Took my 1st dosage of DM Friday night, the gelcaps, 600 mg. Took 'em at 8:30 with a friend, walked around till about 11:00, neither of us was feeling anything and I was *most* disappointed. I caught a train back to my house, and in the station waiting to change trains it started to hit *hard*. I was hanging out alone in the station, hacky-sacking, and the walls started to bend to greet me. By the time I got to my local station, things were getting pretty intense. I *floated* home, as far as I could tell at the time. Two hours later I was hanging out with a bunch of friends, one of whom was also on. I was warm, I was fuzzy, I loved everyone, and I was directly aware of being a higher being making its temporary abode in this body and this mind. Oh; and I *itched* like nobody's business. Anyone else had this? I forgot a lot of things on my way down, but based on what I did bring back I think that the forgetting was because the normal ego-bound me couldn't have understood too much of what was happening. I realize I'm raving pretty thoroughly about it, but I haven't had this life-changing, life-affirming of an experience since my first couple of LSD trips many many years ago. In short, I was *impressed*, and I want to use it again just a couple of times, to open up the kind of intense spiritual communication that it made possible with a couple of the people in my life.

[Note: The following is very long, but I believe it is both very well written and highly characteristic of the third plateau experience.]

From the experiences of others, I believed I knew pretty well what to expect. Still I realized it was not something to be undertaken lightly. My only previous experiences had been with alcohol and marijuana, and I had never gotten more than lightly buzzed off of the latter. I spent a day and a half mentally psyching myself up for the experience. When the time came, I prepared a journal in which to note some of my experiences as they occurred.

12/25/94, 5:30 PM

I prepare. 20 cough caps into a bowl (= 600mg DXM). Christ - must I swallow all of these?! A big mugful of water sits nearby. Had a very large meal 2 hr. ago - waiting to digest it well before I start. Topical antihistamine spray sits nearby in case of itching. [Note: I never used it.]

Setting: Apartment is lit subtly by overhead lights on dimmer switch. Music is playing - radio now. Selected tapes + CDs are laid out for later on. [Note: I never got to them.] I have chosen strongly thematic themes as suggested, while avoiding anything that might be a 'downer'. There is also some lighter, mood-lifting stuff like pop + techno.

I cleaned the apartment today to make things seem more cheerful. [Note: I don't think it made a difference. A book of ancient Chinese philosophical verse...] sits before me to read while waiting for the onset - only because I find it comforting and familiar.

Set: I began 'psyching' myself up yesterday. I feel confident and fairly at ease. Also curious. Curiosity, I think, is my main reason for doing this. Perhaps I'll even learn something about myself? I don't know. [Note: I still don't.]

The journal goes on to note the circumstances of the ingestion of the caps. I note that I found it both physically and psychologically easier to down them than I expected, though there was a transient problem with gas (which I eventually dealt with by taking the caps with milk). To keep my mood up I sang with the radio and read. It took from 5:55 to 6:46 to down them all (with a few long pauses to burp up gas and let my stomach settle).

At 6:33 (while taking caps #9 and 10) I note feeling "different. Hard to describe." The first spelling errors appear at this point. I was aware of them at the time, but left them uncorrected.

At 6:38 I note reminding myself that no matter what happens, it's only temporary, and that if I just relax I'll be O.K..

At 6:46 I wrote,

Cap #15, 16 w/ milk. I think it's about to hit me! There's this sense of 'impending'. Especially when I get up to walk around. Head feels heavy somehow. [....] Feet light as I get up to check the time. It's [now] 6:51. Cap #17,18, w/ milk. What the hell. #19+20 while I'm at it. 600 mg in system. No turning back now!

Indeed. I must admit I felt at least a mild sense of foreboding in that.

At 6:55 I note feeling no noticeable difference in the quality of music. Disappointing, as music-related euphoria was an effect I had heard often associated with DXM and had hoped to experience. I decided to go outside and catch some air, leaving the journal behind.

I walked some blocks to a familiar pond in a nearby city park. The odd feeling in my feet and head had passed (or was at least being ignored), but as I walked I observed a new phenomenon. Buildings seem to stand more starkly outlined against the night sky. Yet they seem somehow absurd in proportion, like children's toys blown up to gratuitous scale. Stars were clear and bright.

Reaching the pond, I gazed out across the water at the surrounding city scape. I noticed the first 'tracing' effects. As I swept my gaze from left to right or vice versa, the lights would pan not continuously, but in blocks - about four blocks per 120 degree sweep. A mildly unpleasant phenomenon, and one which was to last the length of the trip. It was as if my brain were no longer able to keep up with the sudden changes in scene causes by rapidly moving my eyes or head.

I stayed at the pond only minutes. On the way back, I was feeling fairly good. I was substantially stoned. I wasn't really euphoric, just upbeat and at peace. Everything seemed exceptionally clear and still, as though viewed through a layer of deep, limpid water. Contrasts seemed much starker. I briefly lost track of where I was a time or two but quickly reoriented myself and proceeded home.

Arriving at my apartment, I made the following journal entry in rather scrawling letters:

I have returned. I visited the pond several blocks away. Dark, with city lights shining about. [No duh. No-one ever accused DXM of improving mental acuity.] Noticed tracing effects.

Immediately following two or three thoughts were started and aborted in succession:

Profoundly everything seemed dar [This line is crossed out.]

Just as soon, the next [third] plateau hit me. Thank god it had waited until I got home. I turned the radio and lights off, turned the TV up (for "company", I think) and dropped into bed, feeling totally stupefied. The chatter on the tube was entirely irrelevant. Occasionally a snippet would float through to me, and I could make sense of larger stretches if I concentrated. For the most part, however, the chatter was ignored. Through closed eyes, I could see the light from the TV reflecting off the wall and penetrating my eyelids. I seemed particularly sensitive to it. But whenever the light intensified or dimmed gradually, it did so in steps. Pulling the covers overhead, I began to see visions.

These took on the character of glowing, multicolored taffy, being pulled and stretched in many directions at once. Most entertaining. I kept my eyes closed throughout - the real world was not entirely pleasant with all that blocky shifting and tracing. These visions, visible only with eyes closed, flowed smoothly and soothingly. I had expected the cartoon-like visuals many DXMers had described, but these were nothing of the kind.

Gradually, these shifting forms were taking on more substance. They were coalescing into life-forms; entities really - spectacular, bioluminescent, massy things that churned like thick, boiling, liquid. They came in various colors - white, black, dark blue, and purple, mainly. Some were like churning walls of gel. Some were like complex blobs, jellyfish, or worms with thousands of pseudopodia. All were constantly writhing and huge. I could sense they were intelligent.

I seemed to be an interesting specimen to them. They approached freely. Some of them picked me up and passed me around. But I never felt as if I were in danger. These things seemed not only friendly, but affectionate. I felt affectionate toward them as well. Their appearances were not monstrous so much as stunningly beautiful. I was in awe, really. "Glorious" was the word that came to mind at the time.

One by one, an 'entity' would come over and 'play' with me, like a child with a new toy. They would touch me, sensing my thoughts. There were immensely powerful yet gentle. It was somehow very pleasurable. Each entity had it's own character and personality. I tried talking to them, but they couldn't understand speech. They responded only to empathy and simple thoughts.

Occasionally I found myself looking at my surroundings (though just as often they were not visible in the blackness). I saw living vault-like walls so huge and distant they staggered the mind. Once something like a quivering city of Jell-O came into view. Sometimes I seemed to floated toward nebulae deep in space.

At some point I attracted the attention of the Great Queen Mother (literally) of the entities. Words are inadequate. The Queen Mother was a wasp-like thing so immense that her body was like a pocket universe unto itself. I could never see more than a small fraction of her at a time. I journeyed inside her and communed with her for hours. We were empathically linked somehow. I realize this sounds utterly insane, and it is. We felt overwhelming affection for each other. I made up a song and kept singing it for her. She alone could understand not only my emotions, but my words. I somehow felt it necessary to record the song in my journal. And to answer nature's call! Eventually, I mustered up the willpower to stagger out of bed.

My god, what a sight things were. Even through my double vision, I could see how incredibly screwed up all proportions were. I felt like a big insect. My body seemed proportioned vaguely like some kind of praying mantis in human skin. And yet it was all so consistent. Proportions were screwed up in a very stable manner. I could look at something, look back, and it would look the same. Distances seemed exaggerated and contrasts were abnormally sharp. Outlines, while similarly sharpened, were made up of more than just one line (probably due to my double vision). This gave the illusion that I could see a little more of the sides of an object than would be normally visible. It was a little like looking through everything through the wrong end of a misaligned pair of binoculars. I thought of it as "insect vision". My steps were short and slow. I shuffled to the bathroom automaton-like and took a wizz. Then I emerged to make my journal entry, in childish, blocky letters. The M's in "mother", "human", and "almost" have 3 humps instead of two. I could really barely see what I was writing, and couldn't be sure it would be readable the next day.

10:51. I LOVE THE GREAT QUEEN MOTHER. ACCCPT [= "accept"] THE LOVE I OFFER. I OFFER ALL MY HUMAN LOVE. [Such was my song.] THIS IS MOST INTERESTING. [Referring to my 'insect vision'.] ALMOST CUBIST!

Things were getting more 'rigid' somehow. My thinking and movement were both very stilted. I staggered back to bed and fell back into communion with the Queen Mother a while longer. The trip was getting very heavy - time and motion were losing all meaning. My visions were starting to freeze in place, as if everything were crystallizing or being coated in wax. I felt as if the Queen Mother were sealing me inside a waxen cell within her body. Yet I wasn't afraid - I figured she knew best. It felt very protective in a way.

Before long though, just like a fever breaking, I felt that peak of the trip passing. Things 'unfroze' or 'decrystallized' and the visions started subsiding substantially. They quickly became intermittent rather than constant, and I was beginning to be able to think again, though in that stilted way. Disconcertingly, my 'insect vision' was still in effect and my motor skills still very 'rigid', as I discovered upon hauling myself up to make the following entry (in the same blocky lettering as before, with a 3-humped 'M' in the first 'many').

THE GREAT QUEEN MOTHER HAS MANY CHILDREN. I AM BUT ONE. I HAVE MANY SIBLINGS. [So it seemed at the time; I had learned that the entities encountered earlier had been siblings.] IT IS 11:10? THE PEAK IS PAST. DOUBLE VISION.

I turned the TV off and the radio on, then went back to bed to catch some sleep, praying that my vision and movement would be back to normal when I awoke. As I waited for sleep, I watched some entertaining hallucinations. One was like sliding down a tunnel of molten bronze. Another was like gliding over a weird, undersea city. Occasionally something playing on the radio seemed particularly stirring, especially if it had heavy electric guitar riffs, but that's as close as I ever came to DXM music euphoria. Then I slept.

My next journal entry says, in almost normal looking cursive:

2:33. Wake up. Dread to open eyes proves unfounded when I look at clock and see double vision is gone.

I had actually been awake for 15 minutes or more, but had dreaded to open my eyes and see two of that damn LED clock. My heart had been beating rapidly as if in anxiety. Getting up to make that entry, proportions seemed normal again and I felt much more human (though not entirely back to normal). It was quite a relief. I relaxed and realized I'd be O.K.. I took another wizz, went back to bed, and said my good-byes to the Queen Mother and her brood (yes, really). They were forming into a sort of fleet and preparing to fly away. It was rather touching in it's way, though of course utterly insane. The Q.M. understood that I had to return to the human world, and bid me farewell. I promised to remember her.

My next (and last) entry:

2:55. The Queen Mother has departed. I have promised to write [well] of her. She was very special. We have said our goodbyes. Human perceptions returning. This experience has been most interesting. Starkly beautiful. I will write fondly of it - and her.

Obviously my mood was still altered. Bear in mind that in retrospective sobriety, the experience seems much less warm and fuzzy, (though not less interesting). In fact even at the time I think I was aware that this would be the case. I believe I was attempting to preserve in my journal some of the powerful emotional content of the experience, which my memory could preserve only dimly.

I slept some more, and awoke at about 4:30 feeling much more myself. It felt good to be a human being again. Only tiredness (from too little sleep) and a slight stone remained, and I began this expose'. It is now several hours later. There was no hangover, nor any incidence of deja vu (which some users have described). On the other hand, the feeling of being 'reborn' which some have described is also not in evidence.

Reflecting upon the possible influences on my trip, I've come to the conclusion that the fact that I've been reading a book on the social lives of ants may have had some bearing at least on the appearance and character of the Queen and her brood. What did they represent? Fragments of my own psyche? The fevered attempts of a stoned brain to codify sensory data and enhanced emotional states it no longer comprehended? I don't know (though offhand I would consider the latter explanation more likely).

My sober thoughts about this experience are on the whole positive. There were only a few slightly scary or disconcerting moments. I'm not sorry I did it, but I have no real desire to do it again anytime soon, nor would I urge others to try it. Curiosity was my main motivation, and my curiosity has been satisfied. Moreover, the experience was overpowering in a way - too much so to be repeated lightly. I can see how had it turned out badly, it could have been very bad indeed. It is not impossible that someday I'd again visit that insane Wonderland (or another) for further exploration (I am considering growing my own magic mushrooms next) but I am content to let it wait until I again feel entirely prepared.

One day we felt like a major trip should happen so we downed 2 bottles 3mg/ml DXM. We paced ourselves since DXM does irritate the stomach at higher doses. 45 minutes later weird thing began. The first plateau came and went quickly. We were then whooshed into the 2nd plateau where time and space meant very little. I recommend closing your eyes and either laying down or sitting cross-legged. DON'T WALK AROUND!!!

Everything below may sound insane but it seemed like reality at the time

Anyway, I perceived myself much larger and only my head could fit into the room (like a helmet). I was hurtling around the room spinning like there was no gravity. The music was replaced by feeling the sound instead of hearing it. Each note seemed to come from a separate entity that was in the room with us. I saw myself walking around in a Japanese Garden (saw myself as second person). Time meant nothing. I then moved myself closer to the stereo. There I fell backward (not far since I had crawled) and became, sorry for the blasphemy, Jesus himself. I was on the cross and floating up toward heaven. I passed through clouds as the music lifted me up. I believe Pink Floyd's COMFORTABLY NUMB had just begun... Anyway, I saw god and many people behind him (prophets I assume). I really did not know where I was or how fast time was moving.

Again I stress that closed eyes make the trip MUCH more visual. Not once did I feel like I was overdosing, it was beautiful... Then I became, brace yourself, 3 different people. I truly believed that I was 3 separate entities and each one was communicating with the others.

Well, I dosed 900mg this morning at 8:00 am and was done by 1:00pm. Anyhow, the stuff hit me REALLY hard ( I did it on an empty stomach :) ) and I ralfed three times. Oh well. I wrapped myself in a blanket for like 2 hours because I was FREEZING. I felt like I was naked at the north pole, man. You know how the outdoors look when the sun goes under a cloud ( the light level increases and decreases, etc. )? Well I've experienced that every time I dose DXM. Way phat.

Anyhow, I also made a trippy phone call to my friend, told him some dude was experimenting on my brother (who was 70 miles away at the time ), and then asked him for help. My poor friend replied "I don't understand" and I hung up. Anyhow, I also petted my dog and his fur felt REALLY thick. I also stared at myself in the mirror and kept repeating over and over "How can anyone like this ugly face?" Weird. Not quite the "I am evil" experience of acid ( which I have yet to do, dammit ), but strange nonetheless.

I also listened to a lot of "The Movement" and that techno trance stuff really buzzed me out. I didn't get too many hallucinations, even at 900mg, tho :( I tried to write a message earlier in the trip-the text was floating in front of me and then my mailer said some crap like "message rejected" and I found out that it didn't get posted. That sucks man. I was quite blitzed when I wrote that message so I was hoping it would get posted so I could study my use of language. I was peaking when I posted that dammit! Why did it reject my message?! <G> Anyhow, it was a nice experience, once again.

I wish I could get more visuals, tho. There were several moments when it could have REALLY turned into a bad trip ( i.e. when I was puking in the toilet ;-) ) but fortunately all went well. A close call, but fun nonetheless.

I went down to the lake one Saturday morning and took a few boxes of Drixoral cough liqui-caps. Invited some friends along, but nobody could come with me, so I took ALL the little motherfuckers. I walked along the side of the lake for a few miles, not feeling any major effects yet. Then, suddenly, it hit. I felt very dizzy, and very out of place. I couldn't walk so I sat down on a park bench.

It was foreign... here I was on a park bench in some strange place, with everything spinning around me. Cars hissed by on lake shore drive, seem like some kind of deadly monster, or dangerous presence. I was very confused & decided to walk back. It was hard to walk when everything was twisting in strange directions, but I made it all the way down to where there was a tree in the sand. (I'm not sure if there really WAS a tree there, but at the time there seemed to be). Walked down to the tree and collapsed beneath it. Looking at the sky thru its branches, the cars seemed very far away. It was somehow very comforting... sky & sand & tree & me, everything else seemed distant & unimportant. Wanted to stay there, but after a while (minutes or hours - sense of time totally gone) I got up and went on.

A mile or so further I sat down on a rock looking out on the water. The patterns of the light on the water were endlessly fascinating, & when I closed my eyes I vividly saw a field of flame, wild naked girls running thru it, somehow unharmed by the flame because they were just a part of the flame, & I was a part of the flame, & everything was unified in the flame. When I opened my eyes, all I saw was water... after a while of experiencing the fire world & the water world I got up & decided to crawl home. I was very paranoid of getting hit by a car but somehow I made it.

Realized I was getting dehydrated (which might have been causing some of the delirium) so I drank something. Then I sat down on the couch... & realized that maybe I wasn't on the couch at all, I was still on the rock on the beach & this whole thing had been a very strange hallucination. For the next few hours I was sure that's what was going on, & kept expecting to open my eyes...

Finally things returned more or less to normal. later that night there were some kind of weak residual visuals (fireworks)... who knows? Maybe I still AM on that rock...

Around 9 PM I took 30 drixorals, around 900 mg. My friend, T, took 20, which is 600 mg. I was experienced, he was not.

9:30: The power goes off! It's a really intense thunderstorm, even for Texas. The lights (and my computer, which was playing Acid Warp) shut down. My sister calls T and I into her room to watch the thunderstorm. I start to realize I am a bit fucked up (like stoned on pot.)

10:00 T and I retire to my room again. Am I tripping now. I leave the window open so I can watch the beautiful lightning... let me tell you that is a trip on any drug! I have a perfect little tripping environment set up. My friend T is visiting me from out of town, and he is sleeping in my bed. I am laying on a few blankets on the floor. I have a CD player, a stack of Hendrix, Beatles, and THE GRATEFUL DEAD (emphasis to show that this is the all-time great tripping band) and a really good set of headphones. Also I have a journal and a few pens. I decide to start writing down random thoughts.

After checking to see if T is tripping or not (he isn't) I turn out the light and put in Jimi Hendrix's Electric Ladyland. Oh my god. If any of you aren't experienced with this album, GET IT. It's availible on a CD reissue with good liner notes. By the time the actual song "Electric Ladyland" came on, I was on the upswing of my trip. Since I was on a rather large amount of DXM, let me tell you I was flying. Literally. I closed my eyes and entered a new universe of Jimi. I started on a tall cliff overlooking a craggy valley. The sky was a deep purple. I took a single step off the cliff and dropped many hundreds of feet. Eventually my fall turned into a gentle swoon and I soared up over "Electric Ladyland."

Believe me words fail to describe exactly what I saw and did, but it is comparable to what I have read about DMT: you enter a different universe. Once again, your mileage may vary of course.

I won't write out exactly what I was thinking about to each track on EL, but the climax was the Rainy Day -> 1983 -> Moon Turn the Tides -> Still Raining suite. This is in some ways the opposite of Electric Ladyland because instead of flying over purple mountains, I was swimming in the deep blue ocean. I explored a shipwreck on the bottom of the ocean. In the sunken ship was a door. I opened the door and saw my old friend Matt whom I was semi-estranged from. We had a reconciliation and I started crying (in real life.)

T turned on the light and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing, I was just going over some issues in my past. (* note this is described as the primary effect of a high DXM dose, so beware if that's not your thing...) I asked him if he was tripping yet and his eyes got very large and he just nodded. He started waving his hand in front of his face and basically just looking stunned. You see he had never smoked pot or done any other drugs than (a large amount of) alcohol. So this was an entirely new, and pleasant, thing for him. He was listening to a "trip mix" that I had crafted for him of a lot of Grateful Dead and Beatles.

I opened my journal and scrawled (it's hard to write on DXM) something to the effect of describing what had just happened. Then I went back into the dream. I finished exploring 1983 (the ocean) and listening to the rest of Electric Ladyland. Of course a lot of stuff "happened" in between that but I won't cover it here.

I put in the White Album by the Beatles and affirmed the reasons why I have listened to them for so many years. The White Album is another must-have, BTW. It seems to fit roboing so well, because it is at times harsh and at others gentle. The imagery of the lyrics and music are conducive to tripping. I guess this is why it's considered Psychedelic... Dear Prudence is a fantastic song.

Later I listened to Europe '72 by the Dead. Like the images of the Beatles from A Hard Day's Night, the Dead have a very carefree fun image in my mind. In other words they are a bunch of guys (and gals if you include Donna) that you would just want to hang around with. Well, that's what I did. :) During "Sugar Magnolia," I got onstage with the band and played guitar and sang along. Bob and I were trading licks. (I had sort of "become" Jerry Garcia.) T later reported to me that during "Crazy Fingers -> Drums -> The Other One" (which I put on his tape) he was the audience, meaning the ENTIRE audience, and the Dead were shining their music on him. Later he got picked up and passed around the audience (like crowd-surfing) which turned into the ocean.

During "Truckin -> Prelude -> Morning Dew" I was walking around the Sierra mountains (my home growing up) watching the trees and listening to the birds. My friends were there, and each one had an alter ego in the band. In other words, I was Jerry, T was Mickey Hart, my friend Scott was Bob Weir, etc. We all just had fun and walked around in the forest.

I listened to a lot of other music (I didn't get to sleep until 5 the next morning) but this gives you an idea what a lovely and beautiful trip I had. DXM is a wonderful drug.

At some point I was sitting in front of my computer with the lights out and I thought to myself, "I'm going to create another person." I closed my eyes and concentrated real hard. Then I opened them and looked to my right. I was surprised to see myself sitting there. I looked at myself and said, "Hi!" Then my other self looked back at me and said, "Hi!"

Then I buggged out. 8)

We had just gotten back from a football game, and we decided to stop at the drug store on the way home for some tussin. I was with 3 friends, Joe, Eli, and Matt. We got back to my house, and me and Joe started drinking. Eli just wanted to smoke, so I hooked him up on my vaporizer. Matt is a straight edge, so he just sat watching us.

I finished off 12 oz, and Joe had about 6. He's much less tolerant than me, so that put as at the same level. I noticed the effects in 30 min. I have discovered, that unlike most other drugs, DXM comes on quicker if my stomach is full. NO idea why this happens.

I started to feel very drunk. Joe has described the initial effects of DXM "I feel like I'm so drunk, that if I had drunken alcohol, I'd be dead". I was quite dizzy, and the room was spinning slightly. Getting up and moving around was initially an effort, but it also felt GREAT. I had a great urge to dance to techno music. We decided to go take a walk around and have a cigarette. We got up, and walked out, with incidentally, my parents and younger sister all home and awake at the time.

We got back and I felt that I was starting to peak. It felt A LOT like acid in may respects. I had just received a package from my girlfriend in Cal, and when I opened it up, she spilled all over the floor. What I actually think this was, was me recalling a whole lot of memories about her at once. So many, and so intense, that I forgot they were memories, and thought that she was actually there with me. This happened later, with two other people we knew. They actually seemed to be in the basement with us for a very long time. It also seemed like we were traveling in time, by what I think, was both of us recalling memories of the past so intensely that it seemed like reality. VERY cool.

After a while Matt and Eli left, and me and Joe just hung out. We kept entering this trance, where we would stare at each other and say very strange things like, "Enter the Seventh Gate, where the nexus ends", and at the same time, make strange hand motions. At one point, this trance was so powerful, that we had to avoid looking at each others faces, or else it would happen automatically. Many times I felt as if I understood the nature of the universe, and the secret to life. For this reason, it was like acid. No hallucinations though. These effects continued for several more hours. Music was cool, like usual, and had the effect of freeing our minds from our bodies and allowing them to walk on the astral plane. We put in some techno and just tranced for a while.

At about 3 am (we took the stuff at 9) we decided to go to sleep. I had problems falling asleep, and it was a little scary but only for a second. I had this problem, that if I tried to fall asleep, I would suddenly hear jazz music playing loudly. VERY loudly. It was more real than normally hearing music in my head, and it sounded just like it was coming out of my stereo. After I have no idea how long, I eventually drifted off. The next morning I felt just fine. Lots of fun.

[Another long description, characteristic of the fourth plateau.]

It was an interesting experience to say the least. I had been going through some of my old Amiga disks and came across the game 'Lemmings' and popped it in the drive. I started from the very beginning (since I no longer have any idea where the sheet of paper is that I wrote the level codes down on when I first played it a few years ago) and alternated swallowing Drixorals and smoking bowls in between levels. (I never realized that that game would be so much fun when stoned!). Later, I washed down the Drixorals with some syrup and decided to logon and send my buddy some email. This endeavor didn't last very long as I soon found myself floating in a pink space with planets in beautiful pastel colors around me. My dorm room and everything in it were completely nonexistent.

I've roboed several times before and NEVER have I had visuals like that WITH MY EYES OPEN. Always I see things around me and only interpret them differently; it's not until I close my eyes that I completely lose myself. The closest I have come to that in the past was when I was tripping on 1260mg and I thought I was in a forest. But then my desk and computer were in the forest with me. This time I had no connection with this world whatsoever. When I came out of that hallucination I decided the email thang just wasn't going to happen - can't type if I can't see the keyboard!

So I went over to my bed to smoke one last bowl. I was lying on my stomach and looking out the window. For some reason I got it into my head that I was a cat. This didn't bother me.. felt perfectly normal in fact.. I thought I had always been of the feline persuasion.

Some time later (It's really hard for me to put the events of that night together.. There are a lot of gaps in my memory and what I do remember I just remember as events without any kind of time stamp on them) I was lying down listening to music and I had another full blown vision like the pink space one... oh boy, this is gonna be hard to describe.. hummm I was no longer in my body - I was just a consciousness floating in space - and I was looking at a spiral. It was like a spring but instead of each loop being circular, they were perfect squares. This square spring extend out to infinity in both directions. Each square loop was flat on the top and bottom and thick.. as if someone had cut a square spiral out of paper and pulled it out. The loops were divided into sections and each section was a window into another reality. I was looking at a portion of the spiral that had the window to this world. Each window opened onto a different part of my existence: moving down the coil, the window adjacent to the one I was looking at opened onto the world of my life before this one and the next window after that revealed my life before that and so on. Likewise, moving up the coil, the window adjacent to the one I was looking at revealed the my next life after this one and the next window after that revealed one more life and so on. So, up were my future lives and down were my past lives..

The next thing that happened to me I'd like to mention because it was rather scary. Normally, I use the music coming through my headphones as that one last thread of this reality. I know that no matter what happens, if I can still hear music then (a) my body is still alive and functioning properly no matter what I may think and (b) I will always be able to find my way back; there's no possibility of getting lost. It's like a security blanket.

I had been looking at a large blue shape that was a sphere with a concave trench dug out around its equator and there were movies playing inside the trench that I was watching (I can't for the life of me remember what they were unfortunately). Suddenly, everything stopped and.. oh man, here we go again.. I felt myself falling into the very fabric of the universe. As I was falling I had the vague notion that I was dying. It didn't bother me at the time and I was curious so I reached out further with my mind. It was like I was growing smaller and smaller.. I shrunk down past the subatomic level. And as my mind reached.. outward?.. inward?.. downward? I dunno.. I touched something.

Unfortunately I only retained part of the feeling and nothing more.. but I remember being overwhelmed. I really wish I could remember more of it. Any words I could use to describe what I felt just don't seem to correctly describe it.. a surge of energy and a feeling of 'correctness' like I actually belonged somewhere for once. Anyway, the full meaning of my earlier thought of death sunk in. I was sure I had died and I felt that if I stayed there any longer I'd never get back. I pulled myself away, which was no easy task because I didn't want to leave.. it felt so good there.. so right. But once I made that initial move, I started racing back faster than I had come. I found myself floating above my body and looking down at it. It was then that I realized that I wasn't hearing any music.. In fact, when I thought about it, I couldn't remember hearing any music during that entire trip.. my security blanket was gone and I freaked out.

In a frenzy I forced myself back into my body and with some difficulty managed to open my eyes. I could hear the music once again but this was little consolation since my body was cold.. felt like I had been lying outside with my clothes off. And I couldn't feel any part of it.. not even the familiar beating of my heart (yes, I know this is normal for robo but I was in a big paranoia fit at the time and the MJ wasn't helping). I tried to reach over and feel my heart, but I only got my arm a few inches off the bed before it feel limply at my side. That did it.. I was really scared now and I was sure that my heart had stopped and if it hadn't yet it was real close to it and I only had seconds left on this earth. I decided my only chance at survival was to try and get my body moving to keep my heart stimulated. I gathered up all my willpower and with one big effort managed to sit up. I pulled the headphones off, got out of bed and started jumping up and down.. Then I did some push ups.. I did those push ups like a wild man; thinking that if I stopped, my heart would stop and I would die.

Eventually I calmed down enough to think, "if you can do all these push ups, your body must be all right." So I sat back on my bed and just for peace of mind I checked my pulse (by this time I had come down enough that I could accomplish this task.. still had to close one eye though because of that double vision). It was at a low 47 bpm.. and I had just been exercising not too long ago! my body was still cold and numb but 47 is a good healthy pulse rate (my norm is around 52-55 resting) so I had a cigarette and then went to bed.

The next day I woke up late.. late enough that my vision was back to normal. But my body felt weird. felt all tingly all over like there was a layer of helium just under my skin. And when I walked I felt like I was sloshing around inside it. I went outside and everything was new to me. The world engaged my senses like never before.. sight, smell, hearing, touch.. it was pure sensory overload. I passed by a group of people and a wave of energy hit me that nearly knocked me to my knees. This happened several more times but each time it was less intense until I could stand next to someone again and only feel mild sensations within me.

It is now 5 days since then, and my body still feels different. My overactive senses have managed to return to normal, but I still feel like I'm sloshing around in my body.. even now while I'm sitting down. And I still have that helium feeling only it's no longer all over my whole body at once.. it's localized to various areas and those areas are constantly moving around. I played some vball and it doesn't seem to affect my coordination.. in fact I feel that I can use my body better now than I could before (a good thing too 'cause I've gotta play away games in Reno and Chico this weekend.. I'd hate to have to explain to the team that I can no longer play ball because I roboed to hard and fucked my body up!)

I wasn't expecting this to turn out to be so long.. but I just had to share this experience.. I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I hope I didn't bore y'all too much! 8)

When I was stationed in Korea, we could buy these little yellow pills over the counter that we only knew as Romilars. We had no idea what they were and because the people selling them to us wanted to keep the mystery up (I guess so we didn't just go to another store and order whole caseload of them) they just gave them to us in little paper bags.

Anyway, if we ate about 70 of them, we would get so absolutely wasted we were literally walking around in our universe for 8 hours or more at a time. Really a beautiful feeling where you lose your peripheral vision and space expands and you have very vivid, very solid looking hallucinations in 360 degrees. Your entire reality changes, BUT your minds alertness doesn't disappear. i.e.-you never THINK you can fly or anything. You are able to deeply enjoy music and cheap b-grade horror movies are INTENSE!! Shit, I stayed up ALL NIGHT once watching The Evil Dead II over and over and feeling like I was in the movie.

A. P. (male, age 18, 82kg).. 600mg (7.3mg/kg)

Everything seemed like a dream and I honestly think I was dying. I was walking around in public and most people seemed like inanimate objects. I was definitely on a higher astral plane than them, although I didn't look down on them in any way. they just ignored me completely though. I walked past a chapel and saw two guys. although there were many people around, I knew that all three of us were on the same plane (later, I even heard them mention using acid so I was right). I wanted to talk to them but was afraid to and so quickly walked away to the drug store which was a mile or two away in my bedroom slippers to buy more DXM (at this point I was not yet completely gone). I was very dizzy and the sea legs had just hit me. (Before my walk, I sat in the sun and enjoyed the light-headedness. My body felt very light.)

By the time I made it to the shopping center, it was just like being a ghost. On the way, I knew I was dying but it was very pleasant. My soul gradually dissociated from my body and the world seemed so strange, uncertain and mysterious. I remember seeing a leaf blowing in the wind and I knew that it and I (along with everything else) were really the same thing. Near the end, however, my hands and arms started to tingle a lot (the same feeling that you get if you wake up after having slept on one of your limbs), my face and neck were getting paralyzed, my heart was beating very fast, and I was having severe robo movements. Added to all this, it was getting harder to move but I was at McDonald's by myself and had to get home.

I kept thinking, "I have to call my friend, I have to call my friend" (who I had told about my plans). My life started to flash in front of me and for a second I saw myself from the outside (although I think it was just my image). This was all very freaky. I knew then that I was really dying. Everyone in the restaurant (and everywhere else) was acting as if I were either normal (unlikely) or already dead (invisible). Everything seemed like a series of pictures (flanging) and I got on the bus. Excuse the incontinuity, but life lost its linear character and so its hard for me to remember this in a linear fashion.

About then, I kept on thinking about significant people from my past (one in particular) and his (not the person I finally called) image and then mine flashed in my mind. I had a strong urge to call him and say good-bye. I wanted to share with him (& everyone) my insights on life and I was aware that I was closing one chapter of my life and starting a completely new one. I then realized that I had to get out of McDonalds while I could still move. I had just taken 60 mg more.

Then, all my religious insights vanished and my panic began. I waited on the bus for a long time. After I was on it, I then felt trapped, scared, very dizzy and sick. We stopped at a busy stoplight next to a motel. I went to the front of the bus and asked to be let off, she first said no but I told her I was really sick and she agreed. 5 seconds later I puked three times in front of all these cars and rushed into the motel's men's room. I threw up some more. I was in a cold sweat and felt very sick. the room was dizzy and if I hadn't been already familiar with the place I wouldn't have recognized it. I sat for about 5 or 10 minutes and then robotically walked back home, where I called my friend, who was an absolute blessing. I told him everything and soon started to come back, although I could only lie down and was breathing very heavy with a fast heartbeat. My experience was horrible (except for the brief insights) and I'm truly convinced that the DXM high is identical to dying.

A few weekends ago, none of my friends were available to do anything, so I decided to try some DXM. I had eaten about 4 hours before, and had a Super Big Gulp, but I was bored and had time to waste. I bought a package of generic DXM liquicaps (the Smith's store in Arizona sells 10 30mg tablets for $1.49...), and took them.

I waited for over an hour, and I could feel no effect. I figure this is probably because my stomach was full. So, I went to the store. I bought another 10 tablets, and took them. With both packages, I took a total of 600 mg DXM, which was probably a bit too much for my first time, and my weight (120 lb.).

I watched TV for a while, and I began to feel a bit different. I walked up to go to the bathroom, and I walked like I do when I'm drunk. I returned to my room, and watched some more TV. By now, it had been over an hour since I finished my second package of tablets.

I sat in my room, and began to look around. Where was I? I looked around and the room seemed to be so foreign to me. It was like I had stepped into someone else's room in a different location entirely. I just stared at a cardboard box on the other side of my room.

I began to get very confused, very disturbed. Who am I? What is happening here? More confusion. About 2+ hours into the trip, I began to forget who I was. I had to ask myself, and strenuously think, "who am I?" It took me a while, but I was able to say "I'm C." and I figured out who I was. _But_ it didn't seem like me. I could think of who I was, and say who I was, but I didn't feel like that person.

I lost track of time. I lost track of what was happening to me. I wanted to know what happened to me. It was like I somehow got into a different dimension, with strange things going on in my head, and I didn't know what. "WHAT IS HAPPENING?" I soon figured out that I had taken something called DXM, and that was the cause of my confusion. But it was bizarre.

I went to my bed to lay down to sleep. I fell asleep. Then, I was flying in the air - actually, I was being suspended by my shoulders. I was being lifted up in the air by my shoulders, and it was dark out. I was lifted over buildings. The buildings were really simple (skyscrapers). I opened my eyes, and I wasn't flying. I closed my eyes, and I was being suspended in the air again.

Then, I was going down a slide. But it wasn't like an ordinary slide at a park, it was like a slide in a totally abstract world. Everything around me was black and grey and maybe there were a few white lines around. But I was in this strange world, and I couldn't stop myself from falling down this slide. I was on my stomach, and I kept falling down, and down. It was really disturbing.

I woke up after feeling this. I had to think who I was again. I had to think what was happening. I was out of control, and I didn't like all the intense hallucinations, since they were more than visual, as I _was_ being lifted in the air, or going down the slide. I didn't like any of this at the time.

I got to sleep again. I felt something warm, then hot in my chest. I grabbed the garbage can sitting next to the bed (how convenient) and puked. And puked. And puked. And puked. But it didn't really bother me at the time, I was so far out of reality that it didn't feel that bad. I just wanted to puke it all up so it could stop.

I went back to bed. I slept most of the next day, and didn't feel well at all.

[I find this an interesting description of some of the "darker" sides of a third plateau trip. Note how J. M. felt as if he were insane, and also how it seemed to him that life was a sort of game that he wasn't sure he wanted to continue playing.]

Easter Sunday, April 16, 1995

2:15pm: I had been out on a bike ride for about 01:15 hours, and bought 2 packages of Drixoral "Cough and Congestion Liquid Caps". Each package contained 10 caplets, with 30mg of DXM per cap. I stopped at a nearby university and swallowed the 20 caplets, for a total of 600mg DXM.

2:20pm: Finished with the caps, and done with my water, I rode home. This took about 40 minutes. The overall ride lasted 2 hours (23 miles). Bike rides usually bring me in contact with my more positive emotions, and I was not afraid of the impending trip. This surprised me, because past experiences with LSD were usually prefaced with a good deal of anxiety.

3:00pm: Shortly before arriving home at 3pm, I started noticing a tingling sensation in my head - a "pins and needles" effect. Started keeping a diary of what takes place.

3:10pm: Taking a shower. Physical sensations are were intensified on my head: washing my hair, rinsing, and shaving my face seemed unusual. I heard myself say "wow" a couple times.

3:15pm: A heightened awareness of the opinions of my body. I was choosing clothes based on how they would sense during the day.

3:20pm: I began to notice motor control problems, similar to having a beer or two. I knew something was not quite right with my coordination but was not sure exactly what it was.

3:35pm: Detail work with my hands was becoming difficult. I had bought a thermometer with the Drixoral to make sure I could have some objective measure of my temperature during the day, and found it quite difficult to open the case.

3:40pm: Temperature: 97.8 F. Pulse: about 156 per minute (39 in 15 seconds) (way high) It is noticeably strange to bend down and pick something off the floor. Also strange standing up again.

3:50pm: Felt like a head buzz w/herb. Sat on my futon and watched Dennis Miller on the Comedy Channel. Felt unusually comfortable there. My perception was happening at fewer "frames per second" than usual. (In other words, if I normally experience 10 units of perception per second, it seemed like I was experiencing about 5 now.)

3:55pm: Realized that this was the definition of "lazy Sunday". Awareness of how much time was still left in the day.

4:00pm: Felt like being drunk. Saw the "Dave Matthews Band" for a few minutes in an MTV Spring Break concert, and was acutely aware of how bored they were of playing that damn song so many times. Smells are being perceived stronger than usual (i.e., the smell of my water glass.) Starting to notice a mild nausea, not too disturbing.

4:01pm: Suddenly the nausea became quite strong. Not surprisingly, TV also took a turn for the worse, and seemed unpleasant. I was probably misinterpreting my instinctive discomfort for an emotional response to the TV.

4:02pm: Threw up about three times. Hands, knees and head were reporting "pins & needles" (hereafter referred to as "P&N"). Total effect reminds me of having a bad hangover. Had the thought, "do I really want to do this?" Noticed imagination of being found dead, choked on my own vomit.

4:05pm: Water difficult to drink, because it was reminding me of the nasty taste in my mouth. Ate four crackers, and was amazed at how incredibly dry my mouth became, literally needing water to swallow. Starting to feel better after getting sick. The crackers seemed to "ground" me and help me feel a little more normal. My eyeglasses seemed oppressive, and I turned off the TV.

4:10pm: Realized that my penis and balls had become incredibly small. There is usually "shrinkage" (in the Seinfeld sense of the word) after riding my bike, but this was spooky. Felt the urge to have fresh air, so I went out onto my apartment's balcony (third floor). My vision was definitely affected, and I had difficulty focusing on distant objects such as houses and clouds. It was difficult to look at the sky, it seemed brighter than usual. Emotionally satisfying to sweep the birdseed off of the balcony.

4:15pm: Definitely noticing psychological effects of the drug. (See "frames per second" and vision above.) Feel much better physically now, fully recuperated from earlier vomiting.

4:20pm: Setting on my balcony in an office chair. Heard a far away rumbling, not sure if it was from cars or thunder.

4:25pm: Realized how strange it is that we always are looking for "something to do". Riding a bike, taking a drug, going to a movie, etc...., never content to just "be" right here. Found the present moment interesting and not boring.

4:27pm: Found it difficult to follow moving objects visually (cars, people walking by, etc....). Writing seems okay. Probably down to about three "frames per second" now - this is probably what people refer to as "strobing". Found it interesting but not particularly good or bad.

4:32pm: Awareness of how alone I am in this town. Taking an effort to focus on objects visually.

4:35pm: Convinced that my awareness and sensitivity were lower than normal due to the drug. (Some drugs let you notice more perceptions, or intensify them, but I now knew for sure that DXM was in the alcohol-class of drugs that just brings your awareness to a lower level. (For me.))

4:38pm: P&N throughout my body. Came inside the apartment again. Ate four more crackers.

4:41pm: Starting to miss normal functional vision. Wrote "wish my eyes worked again!"

4:45pm: Temperature: 97.8 Pulse: about 132/minute (33 in 15 seconds) Tried playing guitar. Unlike herb, I felt somewhat indifferent to it, and music was not feeding me emotionally. Realized for the first time that I tend to avoid certain guitar chords because they are connected to certain sad memories in my past when I was learning them.

4:47pm: "There is a deadness to this drug." I was feeling broken, in the sense that my body and mind were operating wrongly. (Contrast to feeling of intensified sensitivity with other drugs.) Felt that I knew what deranged street people must be experiencing, with both their minds and bodies irreparably damaged. (This is not a fun thought.)

4:55pm: Staring at my face in the mirror. Realized that inside the abstract thing I call "my head" is actually a lot of bone. Fascinated briefly by my jawbone. Felt strange to "be me", as though I usually interpret my reflection in the mirror as some other person. Thought my haircut looked too feminine.

5:05pm: Stomach was feeling full, probably due to the water I'd been drinking. Listening to Peter Gabriel's "Us" album. Urge to lay on the floor and read Wired. Realization of how my glasses make me look gay.

5:10pm: Reading is quite difficult, the eyes not wanting to focus or move at the speed of my intellect.

5:15pm: Saw a phrase in an article, "our current US government", and it made me realize how I always take it for granted that I am going to live forever. It is only 1995.

5:17pm: Realizing that I had been crawling to the stereo and back from my spot on the floor. My first time crawling in a long time.

5:25pm: Realized that I like music which puts our situation in a larger scale of the planet as a whole. I felt as though I was not sure whether I liked it here on Earth. Did not like the idea of having to die someday. Felt slightly nauseous, especially upon standing.

5:29pm: Body feels coarse, cold, meat and bones. "Not me." Feeling of not wanting to play this game anymore (on this planet).

5:40pm: Threw up a few times. P&N in hands again, unpleasant. Noticed a purple pimple on my leg and felt as though it was "Jim's leg", not "me". Wrote, "Jim, if you read this later, do not do this drug, it sucks!"

5:45pm: Again, felt that this was the experience of being insane. Realized simultaneously how long life is, and how short it is. The day seemed to be passing super-slowly. Brushing my teeth after vomiting was another "grounding" event, making me feel better. Had to stop listening to music, it was too intense and was becoming oppressive.

5:50pm: Turning on the computer, hoping it will "ground" me more. Still feeling crazy in an unhealthy way.

5:55pm: Since puking, my breathing has been quite deep and has attracted my attention. Noticed a certain amount of background fear that thinks I will always be this messed up. Hard to focus on the screen.

6:06pm: Felt sad for humanity without knowing why. Felt "bad" for being human, the same feeling of "badness" as when your father yells at you. Felt that we ought not to be human. Felt guilty, ashamed of myself for trying DXM, felt ashamed to "something higher" or god. (I hardly ever have feelings of being in the presence of a higher intelligence, so this was odd for me.)

6:10pm: Wondered who looks out for the people on the Earth.

6:20pm: Wondered if this is how it feels to die. Time seeming to go on and on... Last ten minutes since my last entry seems like an hour. Ate eight more crackers.

6:25pm: Starting to feel as though I am heading back towards mental health. Felt strong urge to read messages on a Usenet group relating to a particular system of consciousness. Started to notice a stomach ache.

6:35pm: Stomach ache more pronounced. Feeling of coming back to psychological well-being returning.

7:15pm: Threw up. Talked to my brother on the phone for about an hour, and he said I sounded lucid and relaxed. I felt that I was being much more open than usual when talking about emotionally sensitive areas. My voice was much lower and more rich than usual. (That also happens for me with hangovers.)

8:30pm: Watching TV, laying on the couch under a blanket. Still major stomach aches.

9:45pm: Temperature: 98.9 F (above normal) Finally able to poop - had felt bloated since about 7:30pm and had wanted to pass gas or poop. When standing up (from futon and from toilet) felt light-headed and slight urge to throw up.

10:20pm: Transcribing this record from notes into the computer. P&N in face, hands, and legs. Bobby McFerrin / YoYo Ma album soothing.

11:15pm: Finishing this document, about to post it to the net, still sensing P&N in jaw, hands, and calves. My mind and vision seem 100% normal again, but my body still feels beaten.

[This experience can be either a good or a bad one depending on your point of view, but I put it here to illustrate Torch's friend's negative experience as a "mescalibur worm". Note that I'm fairly certain Torch miscalculated the dosage; 1/3 of 16oz of DXM-only cough syrup should be 480mg each, not 157mg each, bringing the dosages to 570mg for Torch and 675 for each of his friends, which is consistent with a third plateau trip level.]

I had a very interesting experience with DXM last Friday night. I had two friends over and we split 16 ounces three ways - 157 mg each. We started watching an old movie we remembered from out childhood - The Last Unicorn. About halfway through the movie the effects set in, and the story became very hard to follow, but watching all the animation was cool. After the movie we started talking and had all kinds of conversations... We thought about a cure for AIDS, discussed our fears of being 'big people' (growing up, going to college), and many other things I can't remember. A few hours later my two friends split 75 mg more each; I didn't want any because I was feeling nauseous from drinking the syrup earlier. About an hour after that we each took three pills, but one of my friends took 4.

That fourth one seemed to push him over into the third plateau, because he talked about all of his weird feelings and all of the other things he could not explain. About half an hour into his being on the third plateau the sun began to rise and we decided it was time to sleep. We laid down and my friend started talking about all the strange things he saw when he closed his eyes - I don't remember exactly what he said. A little later he started saying some really weird shit - "I'm gonna ram your boat! Watch out!" We'd say back to him, "Ram it! Ram it!"

Then he started babbling about how he was a mescalibur worm. We didn't know what the hell he was talking about but I was extremely tired so I told my other friend to tell him a story that ended in him sleeping. At this point my tripping friend was flying through space as this worm, so my other friend told him a story about going into a space station and seeing NASA beds. He laid down in the NASA beds, they were very comfortable, and he fell soundly asleep.

He was quiet for a little while and we thought it worked, but then he started screaming "Oh, shit! Oh, shit!" We were worried about him so we tapped him trying to wake him up but he wouldn't stop and he kept talking about how he was a mescalibur worm and his job was to go through the green tunnels very fast. We stood him up and he still thought he was that worm, so we started to freak out recalling stories about people who have tripped on acid and thought they were a dog or an orange for the rest of their life. We held him and started saying "Your name is X, and you're not a worm, your a human being. You're a HUMAN BEING. Now what are you?" And he would reply "A human being." We said "Not a mescalibur worm.." and he would gasp and look really scared... It took us about 30 minutes to convince him that he was a human and not a worm.

We turned on the TV and had him watch it, explaining that the animals he saw on it were humans, just like he was. Then we started playing Piggy by NIN and let him sing along to it so he could participate in something familiar to him (we got kind of worried when the lyrics were 'nothing can stop me now, 'cause I don't care, any more' It turned out that he wasn't paying attention to the words, just singing along.)

This whole time I was scared out of my mind... I didn't know how to explain to his mother that he now thought he was a mescalibur worm and all he talked about was flying through tunnels. When he finally came out of it he told us about the experience of going through the green tunnels, and then flying through space and sleeping in NASA beds.

The whole experience was frightening but fun to look back on. After we brought him back I tried to sleep and saw some interesting things myself. I saw this strange string made up of many long, intertwined fibers, and I was that string. I had to destroy all of the squares of the quilt I was covered with or else I couldn't fall asleep. And if I couldn't even do that, some voice told me, I was worthless. And later as I was asleep I had to put my head on red glowing squares or else my body wouldn't metabolize the DXM. It did this, but the squares disappeared one by one until there were none left, and then I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get rid of it.

I slept 'till two the next day and when I awoke I felt strange all day. The next day (today) I felt fine, and my bad-trip friend seemed to suffer no ill-effects from his experience, but he is reluctant to try DXM again.

The dosage was about 700 mg - the most FOAF had ever choked down. After experiencing the normal start-up body stone and perceptual distortions, he fell asleep. Now picture yourself waking up in the Abyss. You are an amnesiac. You can remember only the following facts:

1. You are something called a "human being" (although you're not quite sure what that is).
2. Your name, and how to spell it.
3. The name of your employer.
4. The fact that it is something called "Saturday night" - or is it "Sunday night"? This is important because you must be back to something called "work" on Monday! Except for this disconcerting notion, the concept of time is irrelevant to you.
5. Vague awareness of the fact that the reason you are here (in this Abyss) is because you took some sort of drug.
6. Vague awareness that there is another reality somewhere, where your body is located (in which you belong). If you do not get back to it, eventually it will be found and taken to an place called a "hospital" and there will be much unpleasantness when at last you return.

Now picture yourself spending several hours lapsing between unconsciousness and consciousness, your amnesiac trip through the Abyss seemingly beginning anew each time you wake up. You have no idea how many of these cycles you have gone through, or how many more you must endure. Perhaps this is the whole of existence? But no, you vaguely recall the fact numbered 6 above. This nightmare existence lasts until eventually you begin realizing you are finally coming back to that thing called "reality". Next time you wake up, you are almost there and the amnesia is gone (for which you are most deeply relieved).

As for the physical appearance of this personal hell - well, it a series of enormous, dim dingy rooms through which you float. They look like giant basements, often streaked with stains and filled with rubble. Sometimes you see something else to break up the monotony. FOAF won't bother describing them, but suffice it to say you don't appreciate the strangeness of them at the time (since you've lost the memories of reality by which you could compare them). Flowing columns of streaky, stainy gunk are common, dismal sights. Yuck.

This is experience FOAF is not eager to repeat. The amnesia was definitely something he'd not experienced (at least, not to the point of crises) in previous trips. FOAF intends to lay off the "dark hallucinogen" for a while.

It hit pretty fast (within a half an hour) with light headedness and slight disorientation. After an hour there was SEVERE disorientation and depersonalization. He felt almost as if he were outside himself looking in. There weren't especially harsh visual effects as in real hallucinations. Things were very grainy and somewhat distorted. Unable to keep focus on much of anything. He got severe itching fits several times (the only way around it was to ignore the itching, stop and wait til you forget about it). Breathing often felt slightly constricted as if you were wearing a tight shirt collar. There were severe heat flashes so that we had to turn a fan on high in an air conditioned house. Walking was very difficult. Hard to keep a balance. Time was VERY distorted. The whole trip lasted about an 1.5-2 hr. for the strong effects but it seemed like FOREVER. He was also very dehydrated and found it hard to get the damn cherry taste out of his mouth. Also, this person has taken many trips on acid and several shroom trips and has never had anything as scary as this experience. Several times he wondered if he would make it through it alive. Probably due to the fact that it was an unknown experience. 4 hr. after taking the tussin he was driven home from the friends' place he was at. He through up twice between the stairs and the door to his room. Apparently the car ride had disturbed his stomach. Luckily almost all he had in his stomach was liquid from drinking. Coming down took a while. Effects were very similar to coming down off of acid. Unable to sleep, small muscle jitters. All in all something he would never do again and which is really going to turn him off of drugs for a while, if not forever.

By the time I finished the second bottle things started getting weird, I felt like I was getting hot flashes in my head (sort of like doing 500mg Niacin) shortly after that all hell broke loose, I was projectile vomiting, thank god I made it to the can, the next two hours were spent just trying to get over the nausea. I have been hesitant to repeat this experience.

Needless to say, many of my would-be companions to the outer planes of consciousness faltered somewhere along this path-not many could keep up past step 2. In fact, once we were watching the "Grateful Dead Movie" and, at the first there's this little animation sequence that's kinda neat but not too heavy, and, just as the robo was beginning to take effect, one unfortunate traveler arose suddenly, and proclaimed that he "could not take it anymore", then fled from the room at approximately 4 am, alone. To this day, neither I nor my other companions of that fateful night have seen him since. Wherever he is, may his road be clear and burdens be light.

Friday evening I took about 800mg of DXM HBr. About one hour later I smoked some marihuana (I could feel the effects of DXM coming) and some minute later my heart rate jumped to almost 200 and stood there for about one hour. I was really scared and had some moments of true panic. Afterward my pulse stabilized at about 130.

Now... Since Saturday morning I feel a pain in my chest and in the back, between the shoulders. I saw three (3) doctors, had an EKG and everything seems to be OK. Anyway, I have an appointment for tomorrow with a fourth doctor and I wanna ask for a EKG under load. Today my situation seems improved a bit.

By the way, I weigh about 98 Kg, am pretty fit and absolutely healthy (until Saturday, at least). During this experience I've never lost consciousness, I never felt any acute pain (at least not acute enough to be felt in the conditions I was), I didn't bleed from the nose neither I had blood in the urine/feces or broken blood vessels in my eyes.

[Note: it's my general conclusion that Roto suffered from a panic attack, and that the chest and back pains were a combination of muscle soreness and possibly indigestion. The physicians basically came to the same conclusion, and eventually told him that he had probably not been in any serious danger. One physician pointed out that stomach pain can appear to come from the chest area.]

I have done DXM about ten times, from 3.5 mg/kg up to 11 mg/kg. I have always had a good time. Then, one Friday night, I decided to try 14.5 mg/kg. At 8:30pm I swallowed the stuff, despite my not feeling totally at ease, bodily as well as mentally. I might simply have been too nervous. Shortly before 10pm, the effects began. I already felt a bit sick at that time, but I didn't blame the DXM, because before I have never been nauseous from it. Other than that, I was also wondering why it took almost 1.5 hours to start; normally it would take just over an hour.

Suddenly, I had to concentrate very hard on breathing. I felt that if I didn't will myself to breathe, I would stop and die. Then, I started thinking about my life - I was feeling guilty and ashamed for so many things. For things I had said to my friends; for things I have done, or have not done but should have. Looking back, the reasons for feeling bad look ridiculous to me now, but at the time, I really decided that my time had come, and I was ready (but not willing) to die.

From time to time, I would get myself together and think, "Hey, this is not real, this is a bad trip. I needn't have these bad feelings". This would help for a short while, but then I would fall back into endless loops of thinking.

During the whole trip, I was in complete darkness. On other DXM voyages, I have always had nice visual impressions, fractals floating by, or when I was listening to music, it converted itself to beautiful images in my field of vision. But not this time. No lights, no sights at all. This wasn't really helping to improve my mood, too.

Several times, I felt the presence of "beings". Some of them seemed to watch me; well, not really watch, because it was all dark, but I could feel their stare, or rather their interest in me. They knew what I was experiencing. Others didn't seem to bother at all. Those were just there.

When I finally got back to this world, I immediately took some notes. It was 1:10am. I was still tripping hard, but I suddenly remembered that I had puked at some point, and I had spilt the rest of the drink which I had used to wash the pills down. I sat up on my bed in order to see whether there was a mess... Somehow, I had managed to reach the dustbin before shouting buick.

For the rest of the night, the flight went on; I was having a rather good time again. I listened to some music for a while, and finally fell asleep. The next morning, I was perfectly myself again.

Last night, while I was tripping, 2 of my 3 companions for the evening decided they'd get in on the excitement a bit with some handy Robitussin. The third was a) not interested, and b) the requisite babysitter/driver. Anyway, At some time in the chronological blur of last night, the Tussin user at whose we were decided that he wanted to try to astrally project. After this, he started acting strangely, and in a very disturbing manner.

It took awhile for my effects to wear off to the level at which I could be certain that it was he and not I who was behaving strangely, but this morning's happenings have ultimately confirmed that. It was ten hours ago (from now, 8:30 AM) that he capped off his cough syrup, and since he tried to project, he's been speaking in a very monotone, broken speech. Very precise and inarticulate. He sounds like a robot, and very noticeably. He cannot think straight or focus on objects that are far away, says he "doesn't know" when asked how he is, and cannot specify where his limbs are unless he looks directly at them.

This matches nothing I have experienced, nor anything that anyone I have read of has experienced, with the exception of an individual that mentioned a friend with a "manic" response to DM and LSD that has required hospitalization for up to a week. My friend, however, has used LSD a handful of times with no undesirable effects during or after the trips. Indeed, he tends to love the stuff. This experience, too, was thrilling, and he found it very amusing until his speech was decaying. Well, to be fair, he found the speech amusing for a couple hours, and recorded himself before getting bored/disturbed with it.

Also, I was amazed that he wasn't tired. DM _should_, in my understanding, produce a sedating effect. He couldn't fall asleep, though, and didn't know whether or not he wanted to. He eventually did, with the help of the Valerian root that is kept around to cushion the "ride back down". The only problem is that he awoke in seemingly the same state. Through the entire drive to get me home, he seemed very disturbed, crossing his eyebrows and looking around a lot, sitting in a contorted position. The other person in the car, [Driver's name here], asked if I was used to it lasting this long. I wasn't, and I reminded them that even if I was, I wasn't used to any of the other properties of his experience. The only thing any of us could think of was getting me home without causing alarm, and probing for information, specifically on the 'net.

I'd like to point out once again that long-term use of DXM may cause tolerance and lead to very unpleasant, and possibly dangerous, withdrawal symptoms. Please think twice before using DXM on a regular basis.

S. D. S. (male):

[Although not really a positive or negative long-term use experience per se, I didn't know where else to put this, and I think it is characteristic of how small "pockets" of DXM use can appear in space-time.]

I have to share a little bit of my past with you; I grew up in a smallish town here in Wisconsin where drinking Robitussin, "robing" it was called, was quite popular, this being about 5 years ago. Punk rock was also unusually popular, we had a lot of punks, and they all drank Robitussin. It became quite a phenomenon, making the front page of the local newspaper a number of times, until it got to the point where you had to be 18 to buy cough syrup anywhere. "Swan" was the generic brand, most popular, of course. The downtown of the city was littered with Robitussin bottles, and quite a lot of kids ended up in the hospital rehab unit over it. There was talk of it causing sterility, etc., (standard bullshit), as well as "eating holes in your intestinal walls". The regular dose for regular users was 12-16 ozs. I drank it a number of times, large doses, and it had _no_ effect whatsoever, save heavy perspiration and giddiness. Was my town unique, or was "robing" something most kids in the 80's did?

P. M. (male). 1200mg per day

I'm up to 40 gels (30mg or 1200 per trip) per day (or every other day). I've since passed the hallucination stage, and it's pretty much white light proper, and no more of that endless infinity stuff.

I certainly don't tell people (other than a few on the net) about this stuff, and I don't recommend it in the kind of doses I do. I've had maybe 5 out of 300 trips go slightly bad. Usually these happened when I was in need of sleep. Essentially I lost my core identity and was basically fair game for whatever entity wanted to possess my being. This also bought grand delusions of making me think a lot of stuff was happening that really wasn't (even though I was sitting in a chair the whole time).

I used to meditate a lot, and I'm sure that is why I've had such great success with this stuff - it is really a drug that forces one to stay in the moment if it is to be enjoyed properly. Oh, and I used to take acid a lot, so that also did a good job of lubing my mind.

Anyway, I'd probably sum-up the effect by saying it causes unused brain cells to be accessed by the conscious mind. Cells which are strongly linked to creativity and pure animal senses. And what gets blocked out is all the worry-type thinking stuff.

And far as damage goes ............... I have noticed that if I don't take it for a couple days, I feel these sudden momentary spurts of being pulled to an unconscious state. It is as if all these new areas of my brain that I've opened-up are no being closed down when the DXM catalyst is removed. Pretty scary.

Azathoth (male):

At any rate, the first truly psychoactive drug I ever ingested was DXM in the wonderfully aromatic form of cherry flavored Robitussin. This occurred at age 15, and, at that age, it produced an effect which was characteristic of what you describe as a "second plateau" high, at its most intensive levels, without actually reaching the "third plateau" (by the way, I agree with your distinctions between the types of highs produced by DXM). Later in life, I was introduced to LSD, and actually found it to be a let-down as compared to the third plateau DXM experience. It was neither as euphorically pleasing nor did it (and I say this with a bit of skepticism, now) seem to offer the insight into the inner workings of the universe that DXM seemed to afford at times.

However, I found that the experiences that I sought from DXM became fewer and farther between as I grew older. Eventually I stopped using it altogether because my trips no longer had the shamanic quality that I sought, but rather became dull, shallow highs that had little if any psychedelic character at all- in fact, the effect was almost like codeine, and not as intensively euphoric.

The second point that I would like to bring up is a hacking dry cough as a result to chronic usage. I've had this happen to me from using the drug twice a week for two to three months. I also know personally several other people who experienced this exact same reaction to repeated close range usage of the drug, one of whom who actually had to visit a doctor about it. Unfortunately I don't know any details about this doctors visit, I just used it to illustrate DXM's cough inducing affect.

This section covers some of the more interesting multiple drug combinations; generally I placed DXM + cannabis and DXM + alcohol in the above sections. Note that I do not advise any of these combinations, and some - such as combining DXM with an opiate or any kind of depressant - may be a very bad idea.

Shostiru (male, age 24, 82kg), 840mg (10.2mg/kg) + cannabis, alcohol, opium

My friend C. and I had gone over to visit two other friends, and the four of us planned to toke our way through a Beavis and Butthead marathon they had taped at one point. I took along some DXM for myself; I offered some to the others but they all declined. This left me with two 360mg bottles of cough syrup and two boxes of 30mg gelcaps, 10 per box.

The night's events began at about 8:30PM, when I drank a 4oz bottle of Tussin Maximum Strength Cough, for a total of 360mg DXM, and chased it down with a beer. I also took about 400mg DMAE to help me remember the events of the trip, as well as a B5 and a 500mg tyrosine capsule.

B. broke out the doobage, and we decided to start off with some low-grade opium they happened to have, since I'd never tried it before. The four of us shared two pea-sized pieces, of which I got the lion's share. Thus far, no effects; the opium tasted wonderful but that was about it. C. packed the bowl of the water bong with a combination of relatively high-grade bud and relatively low-grade hashish. The bowl was about the size and shape of a stack of pennies, maybe about 3/4" high, and was filled. We smoked that bowl, and then finished off another, this time mostly just bud. I also finished off another beer.

At this point it had been about 1 hour since I took the DXM, and I still wasn't feeling much other than being stoned. I took four gelcaps, for a total of 120mg. We started watching Beavis and Butthead, and spent the next 30 minutes laughing like idiots at Cornholio needing cappuccino for his bung-hole. And then the DXM kicked in, and it felt like I'd been jerked up into the air and was soaring. The ordinary "buzz" feeling of being stoned was suddenly enhanced and deepened, and everything around me looked like it was under a strobe light. Evidently I acted kinda weird for awhile, staring off into space with an ecstatic look on my face.

We smoked another bowl, smaller, this time about half hash and half bud. I drank the other bottle, bringing my total up to 840mg of DXM. I could barely manage to work the pipe; by the end, I collapsed on the couch and was only semi-conscious. It was weird - the strobe action effect seemed to slow down more and more, and ever so often it would seem like the strobing would merge together into a moment of lucidity. I was reminded of a spinning fan under a strobe or a fluorescent light - as it slows down, the strobe lines will occasionally stop moving, seem to stand perfectly still, and then start moving again as the fan blade keeps slowing down.

I was definitely in my own realm of awareness. Time seemed to stop, and then to become nonlinear. I re-experienced the same moments several times, and each time it seemed like my viewpoint was subtly different. Sometimes I would experience the same thing from several different viewpoints simultaneously, as if my personality had fragmented into several splinters. Several times I tried to write down what I was feeling, and although I could manage the mechanics, the English language was a mystery to me. I took notes in a sort of hebephrenic shorthand, a combination of ordinary English words, nonsense words, and scribbles.

As the strobe slowed, it seemed that I was entering another realm, almost like waking up from a dream. I felt like the reality I had known was somehow not real, it was like a movie I was watching - or rather, participating in - and that if I just let myself go, I would slowly, surely, wake up to the "real" reality. I watched what was on the television at the time, not understanding a word of it - it seemed that English was no longer my natural language at all.

At one point the strobing slowed down and stopped, and everything went grey and then white. I don't know how long I was in that state, nor do I remember much about what happened there. I do recall a feeling that I was navigating a realm of probabilities, connections, and synchronicity. And then, suddenly, consciousness came back to me, and I was awake.

At that point the more interesting aspects of the trip ended, and yet my senses were still weird. Sight worked, and yet it seemed like a dream sight, where everything was fuzzy. It felt more than anything like I was really just dreaming with my eyes closed, and yet I knew that they were open. I finally went to sleep, and awoke the next day. It was another day and a half before vision and my other senses returned to normal; in the mean time I felt like I was stuck at the bottom of a very deep well, or perhaps manipulating my body via remote control.

All in all the trip was pleasant, or at least interesting, but I wouldn't advise combining this many intoxicants.

Anonymous (male, 84kg). 600mg (7.1mg/kg) + 150mg cyclizine

I'd been playing with the combination of DXM and Cyclizine. I took 600mg of DXM (I weigh 84kg) over a period of about 2 hours. I was going slow because I wasn't sure if my body had completely recovered yet from a rather unfortunate experience a week before. When I finished off the last of the Drixorals I killed the lights and put on some music. It was a nice relaxed feeling but I didn't get any visuals (which was to be expected from such a low dose). Since my body was reacting okay, I ate three Marezine tablets (150mg Cyclizine). Then the hallucinations came on in force.

Cyclizine definitely changes the character of a DXM trip. There's a lot of motion.. and I mean a LOT! 8) I was lying there on my bed with my eyes closed and I'd feel the mattress lift up and start twisting and twirling around. I grabbed on to the bed and hung on for dear life. It was like riding a roller coaster.

I would see a bunch of abstract patterns of color and while watching it some idea would flash through my head. The colors would then come together around the idea and form a solid scene with the detail gradually increasing. It was like when you have a supersaturated solution and you drop a seed into it and crystals form around it.

When the scene reached the resolution where it became real I'd start accelerating through it. For example, one time a road came into view with me and my bed in the middle of it. Landscape then formed around the road and I took off along it zooming up and down over hills and hitting turns at immense speeds (I was surpassed that I didn't go flying from the bed at each turn). Then a brick wall appeared across the road on the horizon and I was approaching it quickly. I tried to will myself to stop but couldn't. There was nothing I could do. I thought "Oh shit I'm gonna hit the wall and get plastered all over it!" I gritted my teeth, grabbed the blankets, and watched as I zoomed toward certain death.

At the last second, the bed started braking. I slowed down and came to a halt with my nose kissing the wall. It was such a thrill.. better than any amusement park! I looked over the wall and tried to will myself over it, but couldn't seem to move. I just hovered there. Then the entire scene disintegrated and I was watching colors again.

I also noticed that the Cyclizine caused the DXM visuals to be unstable. Things were always shaking around like I was in a large earthquake. Trees would wobble around violently and the ground would rock from side to side constantly.

It was also nice because I could open my eyes and leave the DXM world and enter the Marezine hallucinations whenever I wanted. Heh, there was no escape. I opened my eyes and saw my ceiling covered with cool interference patterns. There was that jelly shit jiggling over everything and every so often bits of it would stretch of towards me.

Strange thing about Marezine... When I closed my eyes, I'd still see my room. I could lift my arms up in front of my closed eyes and see them clearly. I didn't get any auditory hallucinations this time. I guess that's because the music was going constantly... The last time I tried this stuff, I walked into my room to find my sister washing clothes in my drawer. She looked at me and asked, "Do you have any dirty white clothes?" I said, "Sure, hold on a minute." and proceeded to gather up all my dirty clothing. I returned to the desk with my arms full of clothes and my sister was no where in sight. 8)

A friend of my had brought some beer and a bong over a few days before. We had left several empty beer cans scattered about and I had been too lazy to deal with them. While I was tripping, he came back. He walked into my room (right through the closed door), gathered up all the beer cans and left. The next morning, I got up to find all the cans still in the same places they've always been in... it came as quite a shock. I was sure he had taken them.

As I was coming down I went out for a smoke. I was sitting on the steps watching some formless jelly shit moving about in the bushes when a cat came out of the bushes to my left (I think it was a real cat... I'll never know for sure tho). It stared at the jelly stuff I was looking at and crouched down and tensed up in the standard kitty ready-to-pounce position. I found this to be rather curious.. After all, I'm the only one who should be seeing my hallucinations right? As I puzzled about this, the cat darted headlong into the jelly mass, passed through it and ran up some steps to my right out of sight. I nearly dropped my cigarette. I thought the jelly might eat that poor cat.

As the cat passed through the jelly, the jelly stopped jiggling and took on the form of the cat in mid run, like a 3D snapshot. It remained like that unmoving.. I could look away and look back and would still be an image of a translucent kitty. It was just butt odd!

Anyway, I guess that's enough for now. I had fun. No psychedelic effects.. just hallucinogenic. So I guess it's a nice combo when you just want a crazy time and aren't interested in spiritual growth.

M. C. (male) suggests:

A while back there were some discussions here about seeing God. I would like to make my own suggestion.

1. Pop 600mg DXM; wait 1 hour
2. Eat 3-4 grams of cubensis [mushrooms].
3. Drop a few tabs [of LSD]; wait approximately 1 hour.
4. Smoke as many bowls as pot as you can before your lungs start leaping out your mouth
5. Get the 2 cans of whipped cream out of the refrigerator that you purchased earlier for this purpose.
6. Sit down and do the 2 whippets one after the other.
7. Make sure you pay attention because you only get about 10 seconds.